I’m not the only person in the world who hates housework, as evidenced by comments on the internet. One of my favorites goes something like this, “Housework has not been proved to be deleterious to your health, but why chance it?”

Neighbor Amy voiced a very humane philosophy the other day. She said, “I clean for the guest.”

“What does that mean?” I wanted to know.

“Well,” she said, “if the person coming to your house is a clean freak, then you disinfect everything. If her house is a pig sty, you wouldn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable in contrast, would you?”

I love it! At least half of it. It would get me off the hook for a slob. But what about the huge majority of the people who visit us? Let’s be honest. 100% of our guests have standards that would send me reeling into cleaning shock. I see this as a choice. Either give up letting people come here, or find a different philosophy that works for me.

I’m still feeling guilty for making Amy self-conscious. I wrote about her being a master gardener, one of those who will lean over and flick a weed out of your garden without realizing she’s done it. It’s possible my gardening skills are even worse than my housekeeping skills. Just leave the first “s” off skills, and that is my rating for gardening. We’ve had at least four master gardeners wander through our property. I didn’t catch it on their faces, but I know they were cringing.

Getting back to a housekeeping philosophy, I’m thinking along the lines of, “When my dirt bothers you, please feel free to remove it.”

Now I just need wording for a sign that can be posted discretely.

 Dust/weeds bother you?

Duster in closet.

Gloves on porch.

When folks are used to that, I might keep small loaves of banana bread in the freezer and post, “Reward for dusting and weeding.”

Would you be drawn in by that?