Our family went to war, not with each other, but with the Wicked Wisteria. We were waiting for David to get off work when grandson Nathaniel remembered I wanted him to trim a climbing plant next to the house. He marched out with the loppers and never made it past the wisteria. Flatfooted, he trimmed two feet more of the vine than I could have.
Daughter Kate took a turn holding the ladder for her dad.
I thought things were too dangerous when John held the ladder for Nathaniel to clip the branches on top. I presume Kate was the guardian angel on duty in the background. Look at the young man’s size 13 feet on the tiny ladder top. *shudder*
Evidently, the ladder was more stable when Nathaniel continued giving the wicked vine a haircut. No one was paying him any attention. Kate appeared to be holding up the pergola with a magic wand. In the end, the magic was in the appearance of the unruly plant.
We won! Never fear, the wicked wisteria will fight back, but it is no match for our speed with Nathaniel on our side.
Mehrling Muse 
You were the Field Marshall in charge of operations Anne? You troops went out fully prepared for battle except maybe Kate with the magic wand. Shame, it’s such a beautiful plant too.
xxx Hugs Galore xxx
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David! I thought you would be on my side!!!! That plant is not beautiful! It’s a nuisance! It bloomed only one year out of the four we’ve been here, and the blooms were half-hearted and spindly. It has not justified its existence, but has tried to take over our house from above and below. Alas, I was not the Field Marshall. I was merely a war reporter with a camera.
xxx Vine War Hugs xxx
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OK, I change my mind and am on your side. If it hasn’t bloomed with enthusiasm and hasn’t justified it’s existence then it has to go.Remember the war reporters job is most important in recording the truth, not just from the point of view of the winner.
xxx Streamlined Hugs for Speed xxx
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I’d be happy to give up the war reporter’s job if that meant we were no longer threatened by the wicked wisteria.
Loved the streamlined hugs.
xxx Wistful Wisteria Hugs xxx
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I adore wysteria, Anne, but as you describe, it teb ds to take over.
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That wicked wisteria grins as it tries to smother us.
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I have been in this war myself. At least a couple of times a year out come the loppers and zoom most of it is gone. Only to come back. but mine does bloom .White not beautiful purple. It does kinda get my dander up.
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I didn’t know wisteria came in white. In my book, white would be better than invisible.
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Oh I think you’re so lucky to have wisteria that will grow out of control. It is tough to get it to grow at all where I am!
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Do all plants have a hard time there, or only wisteria? Would you like to adopt ours????
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Lol no we are in a temperate rainforest so lots of plants do well and over winter well as we don’t normally have a really severe winter. It’s just my wisteria never got big:( My dreams of having it draped over my pergola never came to fruition.
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I get it. You live where things grow well, but you had a very stubborn plant. Ours was stubborn the other way — growing way too much.
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Exactly!
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I so love reading the stories of your family!
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So far we have survived all our stories. Thanks for reading them.
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Those wisterias grow like a weed – Marge had one in her backyard and in no time, it had wrapped its tendrils around my lilac tree and I was worried it was going to choke it to death. I need a Nathaniel to prune where I can’t reach too. 🙂
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There is no telling how high Nathaniel could lop those branches off, with his height and the length of the loppers.
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My high bushes where I have to use the ladder, I won’t go above the second step so anything higher than the loppers and the second step is going to remain there. I sometimes use the pole cutter but it doesn’t work well for all situations.
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Great story. This is a yearly battle – I remember you posting about this in your earlier posts. Can’t you just get rid of the plant- from the root ? Does wisteria damage the foundation of the house and make the walls weaker ? Or does it consume a lot of ground water ?
What a help the whole family was in this battle. Kate, with her magic wand and Nathaniel and John helping each other out and maybe you providing refreshments ?
Susie
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It’s a daily battle in the summer, Susie. Well, not really. I usually trim that wicked vine every other week or so. According to neighbor Bob, you NEVER get rid of wisteria. If we cut it down, we’d have to get rid of the pergola. The roots would still be alive and popping up new shoots all around. Hopefully it is too far from the house to damage the foundation. Left along, though, I’m sure the branches would cover the house. We don’t water that vicious plant. It seems to get enough rain water to explode regularly. I didn’t provide refreshments, but I did cook dinner for everyone. Would that count?
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But in your mind you must have been thinking, oh my God, I need to get them lemonade or some cookies or how will they go on against the wicked wisteria ?
🙂
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You might have to battle your vine but it really is kind of pretty!! Does it smell good when it blooms?
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We’ve never had enough blooms to smell from that rogue plant. At least it doesn’t stink!
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Anne I am glad you won the battle. Considering how much green growth it has and the lack of flowering I suspect there is too much nitrogen in the soil. Adding phosphorous to the soil could help.
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But would I really want to help my best vine enemy????? I’ll tell John what you wrote and see if he feels sorry for it.
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Just though maybe you would like it better if it flowered nicely.
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Blooms would make it more acceptable. Not going too far with that!
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I owned a home once, I decided to rid myself of a Wisteria tree/vine that had grown up in the fencing, and throughout another short tree. I didn’t think I would ever get the best of that monster. The pictures are great, and I’m so glad you had great help. Always good to have someone brandishing a magic wand when needed.
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Your saying you didn’t think you would ever be rid of your monster plant implies that you won. How I hope that is true! You survived a wisteria war!!!
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Yay!
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With all of you doing the trimming I am pretty sure you will always win Anne. You made me smile with this post.
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Maybe this is a summer with all the trimmings, just like a big feast.
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Oh, this story rings true. It takes a family to tame the wilds around your house. I love the photo of John holding the ladder still whilst trimming is going on directly above his head. There’s a lot of trust in that photo.
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Trust? Maybe. Could be oblivious to his own danger, but concerned for the grandson.
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Nooo! Not wisteria! It just won’t take a hint. Chop it completely and it will pop up everywhere else. It’s an overly enthusiastic, over confident plant. Pretty and makes nice shade – but draws bees like crazy, too to sometimes it’s hazardous to sit under its’ spread. Wisteria battles have been enough to make some resident move. HAHA
Great army you’ve got there….(Shiver at the balancing. LOVE the magic wand pose, though!)
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That’s the best damning statement about wisteria I’ve heard yet. Thank you! I feel vindicated for my stance.
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Glad to see you all “won”. Lovely after pics
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Thank you. We are ahead of the wisteria for this week, anyway.
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Your (very tall) grandson is *such* a help to you!!
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Even the short one, at 5’11”, can retrieve things from top shelves.
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The short one, haha! Since I am only 5’ tall he’d be a huge help to me! 😁😜😂
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