Funny Foods

The dental hygienist rinsed my mouth out thoroughly, saying the chemical she had used did not taste good. She did such a good job that I didn’t taste anything at all. I began to think of things that I found repulsive and couldn’t think of one for several minutes. Radishes popped into my mind, and that is a taste I can live without. John liked them and was always glad to find them in a restaurant salad.

Then there was the time I ordered meatloaf in a good restaurant in Asheville and could hardly swallow it. I asked the server if there was lamb in it. He checked with the chef, and yes, there was ground lamb and ground beef in it. I knew what to do then – take it home and let John have it. He loved lamb, but he didn’t like that meatloaf. Would you agree that an unusual ingredient should be mentioned on the menu? I would have avoided that dish if I had known it was contaminated with lamb.

Messy foods can be amusing, too. I reheated one of the four hamburgers I had cooked on the grill. When I opened the package of buns, I found I had taken hot dog buns out of the freezer instead of hamburger buns. Easy fix, or so I thought. I cut one in half and assembled the burger on it. The first bite pushed the meat out the other side, so I took the second bite from the back. The mustard went this way and that, mostly falling on the plate. What a mess! It wouldn’t have been bad if I’d brought utensils out to the porch, but I used my fingers followed by two napkins. What is the messiest food you’ve ever eaten? Did anybody laugh?

Mysterious Path

I moved some oak limbs to the corner of the property and saw this pathway for the first time. It wasn’t there a week ago. It goes from the back of the shed to a large bush. The only beings that I know that have been there are the men who mow the lawn and a family of skunks. Since I don’t want the skunks in my yard, I hope the men made this odd path. But why????

Daily Contact

I don’t remember how we got started, but neighbor Shawn, niece Chrissie, and I play Wordle and Connections on our phones. We text our results from across the street and across the country in Utah. I wouldn’t want to see hard statistics, but I feel like we are very well-matched. Once in a while we all make the same high score, and other times one will totally fail. It’s the comments that bring it all to life. We congratulate each other or tell something that is going on in our lives. Daily contact like that is irreplaceable.

One day Shawn did exceptionally well, finishing Wordle on the third line and getting the Connections perfectly. I did not do well, commenting that it took me twice as long as the others. Shawn wrote, “But you got it!! You can’t be the QUEEN every day.” She included a laughing face.

I replied, “Right. I don’t want to be Queen every day! Some days I’d like to be the favorite dog.”

Her reply was instantaneous. It was a photo of her pet Izzie with the caption of “the favorite dog”. Chrissie and I got a kick out of that, and the day continued with a burst of laughter.

Hamburgers on the Grill

At some point my physical therapist will ask what I cooked for dinner the previous day. Of course he is interested in food, since he has an associate’s degree in culinary arts. My meals are so unmemorable that I often fumble for an answer. This time I will be prepared, because I thought my grilled hamburger was as good as I had hoped. I remembered to get the meat and buns out of the freezer first thing in the morning, so they were ready when I was that afternoon. The grill is on the back porch and needed only a light dusting before being preheated. To prevent a careless mistake, I timed everything.

I laughed at myself as I stood waiting to put the meat on the grill. As usual, my back was bent. I said, “You silly thing! Stand up straight, or you’ll have to tell the PT that you weren’t paying attention!”

He won’t ask, but my big mouth will probably confess it eagerly. I’m not going to write a book, but if I did, I’d probably name it “Unprovoked Confessions”. I think that is a cut above “Me and my Big Mouth”.

Physical Therapy

A patient was talking about people who cheat at checkout registers, saying there are no consequences when someone leaves without paying. She said, “They don’t even call the police!”

My physical therapist repeated a story a man told him. He used the self-check line at Walmart. Everything went as usual until he finished paying and started to walk away. Suddenly the alarm at the register went off, and he froze. He knew he had paid correctly, but he didn’t know what to do. An employee nearby saw his hesitancy and yelled, “RUN!!”

The other patients and I laughed, but I’ll bet we all wanted to know what happened. Since the first comment prompted the second story, the answer must be that nothing happened. Nearly all the patients I’ve seen have joined in the banter, making the hour fly by. Most of us come three times a week, so we have met each other a time or so, as our appointments overlap.

The therapist and office manager are full of fun, but they are also sensitive to people’s needs. If someone doesn’t join in, there is no pressure. I’ve noticed one man struggles to do his exercises. He works really hard, because he has much to overcome. When he leaves, the therapist always bumps fists with him, telling him he has done a good job. The office manager comes around her desk and gives him a strong hug. It is touching that they are so very supportive. They have made it a place of joy and healing.

De-vining in the Rain

I don’t have time to work in the garden on days that I have physical therapy. I came home, fixed lunch, and was sitting at the table on the porch when I realized the air wasn’t very hot. The sun was behind clouds. I changed shoes and went out to cut the shoots from the base of the Wicked Wisteria. I’ve had to do this several times already this year and was hoping I wouldn’t have to do it again. Up close, I could see that it was way past due. Heaven knows I don’t want that wicked thing to expand even more! Thunder was in the background, and soon it began to sprinkle. I kept cutting those shoots as the rain fell on my back. Actually, it felt quite nice. I quit when the thunder got closer, having finished what I set out to do.

It was lovely to get a cold drink and relax on the porch. Lightning hit not far away, and then wind whipped around. It blew rain to the middle of the table, leaving droplets on my glasses, as well as the phone and laptop. I might have retreated inside if it had gotten any more violent. That’s when daughter Kate called to chat. While we talked, the sun came out shortly before it went behind the western mountain. The storm cooled things off, though it was quite humid. Droplets on the table were still visible a couple of hours later. I am inordinately pleased to have done a garden job on a day I didn’t expect to do anything useful.

Favorite Visitors

Having relatives come to visit is such a thrill for me. John’s sister Barbara and husband Thom came here after celebrating the first marriage of a grandchild in Maryland and a visit with Thom’s brother in North Carolina. Their photos showed the relatives that I haven’t seen for years. What a marvelous time to catch up! They gave me a requested summary of the children and grandchildren with love and pride in their voices.

We had only one full day and made the most of it. Both were world-class teachers, and I enjoyed their talking about teaching the same material to multiple classes in a day. I assumed the prep was easy, since they were going over the same material. Not so! Barbara explained that each class was a bit different, so she might cover different angles. She kept notes on what was discussed each period, and tests would reflect that difference. Thom told about giving math tests. He would include similar problems using different numbers. I had difficulty following the logic, but he explained to students that telling others what was on a test would hurt themselves. If it helped someone in a later class, it would raise that grade while lowering the relative score of the helper. I got the gist of it, even if I can’t repeat it clearly.

Both Barbara and Thom like going to different restaurants, so I had two choices to suggest. Both places had good reputations, and I was leaning toward a family establishment perched on the side of a mountain. David and I had eaten there a few years ago. When Thom looked at it on his phone, he found they were closed. I thought it odd that they took off on Mondays and Tuesdays, but we couldn’t force it to open. We went to the Red Fox in town. It has been open a year or so, but I’d not been there. We dealt with large portions in different ways. Barbara ordered an appetizer and a side dish, finishing both. Thom had hot chicken and waffles, and I chose a ham and chicken sandwich with bacon and cheese. We took half home. He ate his that evening, and I had my leftovers for lunch the next day.

We all wanted to walk outside, but rain dictated a postponement the first morning and a cancellation the next.

Weather couldn’t ruin our visiting on the porch. We called to Shawn when she came out and had a lovely visit with her and dog Izzie.

They left after breakfast the next morning, heading to see Barbara’s sister Chris and Steve. I had to be happy that they would be together, so I waved them off with smiles.

I Lost Weights

After seven sessions of physical therapy,I realized my therapist was adding more reps to my workout and using slightly heavier weights. I have faithfully done the home exercises twice a day for 18 days. My thinking – they could be a bit more intense if I added weights to my ankles. They were right where Lise left them the last time she was here. Knowing not to add five pounds the first day, I removed the weight rods to make each one weigh one pound. Easy! I didn’t feel anything different. Maybe the next day I’d add another pound. There was just enough time to wind two clocks before the live-streamed church service began. Whew! Made it just in time to add my name to the chat list.

My day proceeded as usual, and I had a half bagel, cream cheese, and lox for breakfast. I dozed off on the porch and told myself to go sit in an easy chair before I dropped my phone and broke it. How shocking to find I slept for an hour and a half! Sluggishly, I took used coffee grounds to the front porch and put them by the spoonful on the ground near the lattice work that doesn’t always keep skunks from going under there. The animals are supposed to dislike the smell of coffee grounds.

“Ding! Ding! Ding!” came daughter Lise’s voice from the doorbell. Her app is connected to my bell, and she was notified in Denmark that someone was moving on my porch. We chatted for a few minutes. I told her that I had started using ankle weights, and I looked for them and couldn’t find them anywhere. They weren’t near the extra rods in the kitchen, and I couldn’t remember taking them off in the bedroom. A foolish look crossed my face when I looked down and saw them still attached to my ankles! I moved back from the doorbell and asked if she could see my feet. We had a good laugh at my forgetfulness. Maybe I’ll look at my ankles first the next time,

A Car Adventure

I was in the car near the airport with neighbors Shawn, Bob, and Logan when Shawn’s phone rang. It was daughter Lise calling from Denmark to tell us there had been a bad accident between us and home. I’m pleased that Lise keeps watch over me, but I don’t know how she does it. Shawn was driving, so Logan and Bob looked at phones from time to time to check on traffic. We continued to the restaurant, thinking our eating dinner would give time for the wreck to be removed. We were there a little over an hour.

We knew the road was a mess. A dump truck had a flat tire, causing the driver to lose control. It dumped gravel across the center divider and onto a Corvette convertible, and the truck burst into flames. Both drivers escaped and were taken to the hospital with minor injuries. The truck fire was so intense that it melted the roadway. Shawn and Bob agreed we should try the back way, but everyone else had that idea, too. Traffic did not move! We returned to the interstate, knowing it was going to take time with only one lane open on our side.

We crawled and stopped, crawled and stopped. I read instructions on the side of a tank truck. In a heavy box mounted underneath was a sign that said, “Instructions enclosed.” I have no idea what I could have learned from those instructions, but you can tell there no speed involved on the road. Shawn called neighbor D and asked her to let the dog out, because we were still 15 miles and an hour away. Poor dog. At least we could talk about our problem! Shawn and Logan could see the damage to the road much better than I could as we drove slowly past it. Immediately we sped away on the empty road, knowing there were still hundreds of vehicles inching along behind us. A trip that should have taken took 30 minutes lasted four long hours! We got home at 9:10.

All of us knew complaining would not get us home any sooner. We chatted, commented on vehicles around us, and watched lovely clouds in the sky. Shawn and Bob were teasing each other, and I said aloud that she could put some ice cubes down his back. She still had her drink from the restaurant, and I realized she had done the deed when Bob slapped at his back. Oh! No! I couldn’t get the words out fast enough. “I’m sorry. One of these days I’m going to need Bob to fix a leak for me! What will I do then? I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

They laughed at me, back pedaling in a car that wasn’t moving at all.

Scat

Scat is a word we sometimes use to scare away a cat, but I’m talking about wild animal poop. When I added water to the waterfall, I saw a mess on the surrounding stone.

After taking a photo, I consulted the only scat expert I know – son John $. John lived in these mountains for years and often went camping. Surely it’s a safety thing to know how to read the woods and know what animals are near you! He quickly answered that it was raccoon scat. Just to be sure, he checked for skunk, since we have several of those hanging about this neighborhood.

That raccoon must be an efficiency expert – washing his dinner in the pool and using the bathroom at the same time!