I did it! I jerked a knot in something! A couple of years ago, former neighbor Amy shared that warning with me. We may have been discussing Southern sayings. She explained that an adult could put some grit in her voice and threaten a child, “If you don’t quit doing that, I’m gonna jerk a knot in you!”

How I longed to use that phrase! Isn’t it rich? Amy’s demonstration was perfect. This sweet, loving woman had a snarling tone that would have made me stop short and leave skid marks. I wanted to say it just like she did. Alas, there would be no opportunity. My children are grown, maybe even overgrown. In this day and age, you’d have to be a blood relative out of earshot of the verbal abuse police to say it. Whispering wouldn’t have the same effect. It would have to stay locked in my head, forever useless.

I was in a hurry to untie my sneakers. I jerked on the lace, and it whipped around under my fingers. I stared, dumbfounded. There were two knots – not one, but TWO! I did it! I jerked a knot in something! Whoa! You’d better slow down and pick apart those loops, or you’ll be sorry. (I made the knots larger than the original when staging this.) It wasn’t quite my dream come true, but it was close.

“I jerked a knot in you, Sneaker!”