My month of June was dedicated to sciatica. There are better things to do with one’s time, but it took over my life. One day I was fine, and the next I wasn’t. I like to self-diagnose before asking a doctor’s advice. Does anyone else do that? Pain from the spine, through the hip, and on to the knee seemed definitive. Subsequently, I had four visits to the doctor. We agreed on the illness and a stab at lessening the pain. The fourth week of June I had very swollen legs, vertigo, and a rash visible from neck to toe. The rash could have been in my scalp, but I didn’t bother to look. The sciatica was unimpressed. The reaction of the world’s best neighborhood? They visited me, texted with me, walked outside beside me, spoke words of encouragement, brought flowers and fruit, prayed with and for me, and took me to one of the doctor’s visits. Grandson David helped whenever he could.

I did see the amusing side of vertigo. I told daughter Lise that I hit every wall on the way to the bathroom, and that was with the aid of a cane! Son John got the safety story. When taking Kacey outside, I hold the cane in one hand and use only two fingers to hold the leash in the other. She can’t pull me down if I’m not holding on tightly.

I seemed to age 10 years in one month. Lack of sleep and pain do strange things to one’s mind. I’ll spare you the details. It came down to lack of control. Most of us are used to planning our days and getting on with it. When that stops, you begin to wander through the hours. Case in point – neighbor Shawn offered me a meal she had cooked, and I declined, saying I wasn’t hungry. What? That wasn’t me!! I’ve regretted it ever since. If I ever decline food again, I’ll know I’m truly ill.

On a hot, humid day the question flashed through my mind. “Do you want to be healed?”

How silly! Of course, I want to feel better. It’s a Biblical question in John 5, and the paralytic man at the pool of Bethesda gave excuses rather than a definitive yes. Was I like that man? Maybe I enjoyed the attention. Perhaps I wanted to wallow in pain and despair. Most people were sympathetic to me. Only one said, “You’ll live; get over it.”

I took steps toward healing this morning by walking to the top of the street and back. It wasn’t much compared to the 50 miles I walked in May, but I am on the road to recovery.

Lord, please heal my body and my soul so that I can live for you.