An Odd Yardstick

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I used a candlelight carol service as a yardstick! As I rode to the service with another church member, I realized I hadn’t been inside the church for a long time, because I now attend regular services there via online streaming. The last time I was there in person was for the same gathering a year ago. It was marvelous to be among familiar people that I often talked to when John was alive and driving us to church.

After the service was over, I realized there was a marked contrast between last year and this. I had no hesitancy in crossing the room to speak to people before. This time I couldn’t see faces clearly. I hung back. Because the people are friendly, they came to me and greeted me warmly. They’ll never know how much I appreciated that. I had read that losing an ability causes older people to withdraw, and now I’ve experienced the beginning of it.

Many women’s voices don’t carry well. Because of that, I couldn’t understand the announcements. I followed the crowd and asked people around me what was said. There is a growing distance between me and the rest of the world. It’s no wonder I feel more comfortable standing by someone I know who will interpret for me.

My best comparison between last year and this is that I don’t think my brain is failing nearly as quickly as my eyesight and hearing. As soon as people came within arm’s length, I could have told you their first and last names. What a relief that was! I may not see you or hear you easily, but given half a chance, I’ll call you by name.

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Published by Anne Mehrling

I'm a retiree who loves to write about life in the mountains of North Carolina.

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37 thoughts on “An Odd Yardstick”

  4. We have to learn to accept the vagaries of health that come with age. The best way to do so is to ensure we educate those around us so that thery know to make some allowances. It sounds like you’ve been able to do tht quite well Anne. The people around us will show their friendship by gathering round to help where they csn. You maintain a good balance of social life like this Anne and your effortis appreciated. Huge Hugs

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  5. How wonderful you were able to attend church in person and be with people! As many options as we have to keep us connected, nothing is better than face-to-face to me. While our bodies may fail us along with eyes and ears (and in my case my hands and fingers), we are indeed fortunate when our brain still serves us and there are other things that can help with eyes and ears–most often humans who love us.

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  6. I have the same problem Anne, with my left ear at zero, it seems a useless pursuit using a hearing aid. My right ear has 40% left so I could hear loud and clear with hearing aid provided it is one on one, otherwise it is just noisy. I have been attending online masses since I lost my sense of hearing to Covid.🥰

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  8. And that in and of itself is a blessing..My world is growing more silent and “aids” don’t really do much..I’m ok with my lot in life but do miss not being able to completely converse with my little people….Med beds are coming..we just have to hang on until

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  10. It is lovely you were able to attend church in person and see your friends. I am so sorry your eye sight has deteriorated so much as well as your hearing. I hope you will be able to find some relief.

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  11. I also speak softly more now then in years past, and I am very shy unless I have had a few drinks then not so much but since I generally don’t drink that side of me stays hidden

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  12. What you describe makes sense. My dad has been nearly blind for many years, and lately his hearing seems to be declining, too. That is making it harder for him to connect. I hope you can find some help with the hearing (and the sight).

    Beth@PlantPostings.com

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    1. Thank you, Beth. I’ve had hearing aids for three years, and I know the ears are slipping a bit. My retina hasn’t completely settled down after it leaked three years ago. These waiting games are very slow.

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  13. You are active, both physically and mentally – those daily walks and blogging will keep your brain tuned up and that is important too. At least you have the option of at-home/streaming church services and visiting with family on Zoom to keep in touch for now. I hope this is a minor setback with your eyes and you’re seeing much better soon. P.S. – maybe you came in out of the daylight into low lights and that contributed to the seeing issue?

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    1. Thank you for trying to think of solutions. The lights in the room had been changed. I am wondering if the angle hit my eyes the wrong way. I kept hoping my vision would get clearer during the evening, but it didn’t. I think I am seeing fairly well today, but I’m not looking to recognize people in a crowded room.

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      1. The light would be maybe like the sun’s rays being so strong sometimes that you can’t see properly. It sounds crazy to suggest sunglasses or lightly tinted glasses indoors, but maybe it would help to tuck a pair in your pocket or purse. Maybe eye strain too? Too much on-screen time? I hope it is just temporary since you’re seeing fairly well today.

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          1. Well, I know we are a community of bloggers, but much more than that, so you know we are praying along with you. You have been in my daily prayers since you first had eye problems, which you divulged in your blog post(s). Keep keepin’ on and keep praying for the best.

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  14. Good that you were able to go to a service in person, maybe you can do more of that so your friends and church family can help support you more. One thing I will mention, hearing aids increase the production of ear wax, so if you haven’t had your ears examined by your doctor, I would recommend you do that. A build up of wax can contribute to the loss of ability to hear.

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    1. Thank you for the warning about ear wax. I did have a buildup last year, but I was declared clean by my doctor last week.

      I don’t drive to church any more, because it takes 45 minutes to get there on speedy roads. I stay on local roads close to home now. Thankfully, many church people keep in touch via texting.

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  16. Being with friends means all the world when your faculties are not what you wished them to be. I will try to sing tonight since there are familiar Christmas hymns. I am at that “in-between” after cataract surgery. One eye great and the other still “wonky.” New reading glasses will happen in a few weeks. It will get better with time. Be well and go out to your friends on a weekly basis if you are able. They understand. As we age, it’s about maintenance. oxox

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      1. Both our music directors are ill and we had a substitute choir member pitch in on the piano last night. Today, they have a guitarist filling in. I have not practiced would not fill in with my in-between eye. Awkward, yes. Have a good Sunday. oxox

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