Something was crawling up my leg as I washed my hands in the bathroom. I expected to see an Asian lady beetle, but it was a stink bug. Now a stink bug in this house could also be known as a Lise-freaker. There was ONE in the house last Thanksgiving, and it found her. You can’t blame anyone who shrieks when confronted with a flying insect, but I’m used to scooping stink bugs into my hand and throwing them outside. This one was friskier than most. It crawled out of my loosely closed fist and flew away. Obviously, I didn’t want to clamp down on it and cause it to stink. We were hurrying to go to early service, so I told myself I’d find it later.

Later happened to be five minutes later IN THE SHOWER. It crawled on my foot. The choice was to deal with it quietly or leap through the curtain like an screech-amplified lawn sprinkler. I know which Lise would have chosen. I just danced around the subject and got the water to pin it to the drain. It’s the first time I’ve ever showered while keeping my eyes totally on my feet. The bug seemed to be drowned. I used a paper cup to pick it up, and it stuck to the inside of the cup. Little did I know, it was in suspended animation.

After church and lunch at Cheddar’s, I headed to the bathroom with the toy camera. One tap of the cup, and the bug landed upside down on the counter. To my shock, it moved its legs. I told it to pose and flipped it over, having nail clippers there for size comparison. The photo session wasn’t long, and soon the bug was tossed onto the deck where it blended in with hulls of sunflower seeds from the bird feeder.

The story is true, but do you really trust a person whose cockeyed glasses take a nap on the nightstand like this?