The Devil’s Printer

In this tale, my husband is the printer’s devil, an apprentice in printing. The printer itself is possessed by the devil.

John was not the only one contending with the printer. Just the other day I sent a six-page document, requesting a double-sided job. This was not a cruel and unusual punishment, since we’ve done it successfully before. No, out came six separate sheets. Not wanting the hassle of reprinting three pages on the correct side, I paid extra postage and went on.

John was disgusted when he asked for a few pages of a 90-page document, 111915 The Devil's Printerand the demented printer began spewing out everything. His reaction was normal, to shut it down. He left it off for a couple of days, thinking the crazy thing would get the message. Of course, it sprang to life again when he turned it on, determined to have the last say.

John said, “I didn’t know what else to do, so I let it run.”

“You needed to delete it from the print cue,” I said. “Why didn’t you get me?”

“It was the middle of the night,” he said. “I wouldn’t wake you for that.”

“I have a solution,” I replied. “Here’s what you do if it happens again. Shut off the printer. Go to the kitchen and make a cup of hot chocolate, preferably dark. Bring it to my side of the bed and say, ‘Darling (!!!!!!!!) Here is a lovely mug of hot chocolate. You can sip it, put a hex on the printer or fix it, and go right back to sleep.’”

What do you think? Isn’t any chocolate solution a winner?

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