Hoarding TP

It has been almost a year now, folks. Aren’t you tired of hoarding toilet paper? We never bought any ahead of time, trusting we could buy more when we needed it. Recently my bathroom was the one needing more, and there were only a few odd brands on the shelf. I read the labels carefully, wanting to avoid one-ply – the kind you need to tear off six feet for the simplest job. I shunned the obese rolls that get stuck in our holder. John was ready to set up a camp chair when I decided on the least offensive package.

A few days later, the first roll made its debut (de-bue not de-butt). My suspicions were aroused, because I could HEAR it unroll. Granted, there were no splinters in the paper, but it was CRISP! Crisp is not the ideal adjective for toilet paper. I am going to deal with it, hopefully without undue complaint. I beg you, if you have a closet full of TP, wait until you’ve used up half of it before you buy more. Please give the rest of us a chance to get our normal brands. Thank you.

77 thoughts on “Hoarding TP

  1. Oh, my, I send my sympathies. Can I send you some TP instead? It seems to have gotten difficult again here, but I still just buy one pack at a time and just when needed. I think about my father using newspaper and catalogue pages in the Great Depression, and somehow, I just figure we will manage even if there is no TP to be had of any kind. Just today, R and I had a laugh about “what if we have to use the teeny tiny cash register rolls of bamboo paper we bought last March when there really was none to be had and it took 6 months to get here?”

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    1. Thank you, but I plan to be stoic. I will survive. It didn’t bother me to use the outhouse at my best friend’s grandfather’s house, but I think we had regular toilet paper there. We do have lamb’s ears growing in the garden, and we will use that in an emergency.

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  2. I have a funny anecdote. I’m reading Splendid and the Vile, a non fiction book aboit Churchill fighting the Nazis before America entered the war. There’s a part in the book where Churchill actually called the British embassy in the US for them to send toilet paper because there was none in Britain

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  3. Too funny, but not. It would be dismaying to “hear” the TP as it unrolls. here is an image for you. In the first Superman Movie that I know of, starring the late Christopher Reeve, there is a scene early on where Clark Kent, while looking for a phone booth in which to change, comes across one of those free standing not enclosed booths, or maybe it was one that was all glass enclosed and he looked at it and shrugs. So, transfer that to the TP situation, no catalogs from Sears or Montgomery Wards, the real thick kind that might have been used for outhouses, all you would have is a cell phone for scrolling. Okay, it’s late, I am tired, but that is where I went. In the beginning of the crisis in March, my husband and I had a serious conversation of what we would do if we were out and we listed priorities. Fortunately, we hadn’t had to break into our Kleenex reserve, which I assure you, we are not know or have ever hoarded. but we set aside a few boxes of cheap Kleenex. Best and blessings, Michele

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    1. That is marvelous that y’all had a contingency plan. I laughed about the Sears catalog and having only a cell phone for scrolling. Brilliant!

      I clicked to follow you, but it didn’t seem to work. I’ll look again tomorrow. I love your sense of humor.

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      1. Thank you for your response, I was worried after I sent it that it might seem like sheer lunacy, which it was. I like to blame my sense of humor on my mother, who is no longer here to defend herself, but she gave me a great legacy of lessons, including being willing to laugh at myself. I am not sure with the ins and outs of Word Press, but I suppose another way to follow is at the bottom of any post, when you scroll to the bottom. Thanks again, Michele

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              1. That is fun. I think our church did Drive in two or three times. They never got it to work well. Husband John and grandson David go to church every Tuesday evening to sing with a small choir, leading the hymns for the taping of the Sunday service.

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                1. We are fortunate because we are pretty rural. So far the neighbors haven’t complained and I only ask them to honk once. I do feel a little silly, last week I ended the benediction by saying, “And all God’s people said HONK!” and they did. It just puts a smile on my face. There is only myself, the tech person and the pianist inside. We don’t have a huge crowd, it’s a small church, but about 17-21 in the parking lot. Our Bishop has asked us to not return to in person worship yet, I think we will be getting instructions soon. This is really lazy I need to look at your Home page. Where are you? What country?

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                  1. We moved from Long Island to NC six years ago. We drive 45 minutes to a Lutheran church in Asheville, although I will probably worship on line tomorrow.

                    May I ask your location? Don’t answer if you don’t want to.

                    I was the organist/choir director of our church in NY for 25 years, and I am enjoying retirement now.

                    Have a blessed Sunday!

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                    1. That is so funny, I follow a Lutheran Pastor who blogs “My Pastoral Ponderings” but I forget where he is from. Somewhere south. Some other time I have a story about “How far south?” I am a retired United Methodist Pastor, still serving part time in North Central PA. I am glad you are enjoying retirement.

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                    2. The brother of my brother-in-law is a UMC pastor in central NC. He is of retirement age, but he’s still serving two rural churches. I read his daily devotions, which are refreshingly up-to-the-minute.
                      My brother is a retired Presbyterian pastor. My husband was a ship chartering broker in Manhattan.

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                    3. tell me about the ship chartering broking, (breaking?) My dad was in the Merchant Marine. We lived in Massachusetts, his home state, 1st Generation American, and he sailed out of Hoboken, NJ.

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                    4. John’s job was to find ships for cargoes and cargoes for ships. He preferred working for a steamship company (in house broker) and going into the market to find cargoes for the ships the company owned. He worked as a competitive broker for one period. He was putting together deals with ships and cargoes world-wide. This was a telephone business. He commuted into Manhattan to the office for regular hours, but he also had to be ready to talk business at any time of the day or night from home. The main markets were London, New York, and Tokyo. All of this was before fax machines and cell phones! He communicated with ships and other offices with a land line and a telex machine.

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                    5. Thank him for me. When you have time to look through my blog there are stories of my parents and one amazing picture of my dad in the Navy at 19. He retired as a Chief Mate and worked for American Export Lines, which became American Isbrandsten Liens in the 60’s. They went bankrupt in the 70’s I think. My dad went to sea for the first time at 13, I think that is in the blog somewhere. Blessings, Michele p.s. I noticed in my last comment to you my words seemed to go haywire, a long strong of letters. Not sure what caused it.

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                    6. No worries, that is a lot to ask. I may take soe of those older posts and put them in link parties, since I only started blogging in December 2019, but didn’t connect with any of the groups since about March or so of 2020. I just published post #65 last night, that would be a lot to look through. Anyway, I understand about time. I love reading and talking with other bloggers, but always feel like I am playing catch up, in order to do due diligence. M

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                    7. I began blogging in 2015. I always hope to get to know bloggers by whatever they say in the present, because it’s all I can do to keep up day by day. Your background is of more interest to me than most others. Time goes by so fast. I was just notified a week or so ago that I had published 1,000 posts. My fingers are not overweight.

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                    8. 1,000 posts ! Congratulations. Last night I published #65! You are right about time. Since I am preaching and of course pastoring part time, I do my best to balance. Last week, I got a little carried away with blogging committments and got anxious about my sermon. In an ideal world I would blog on Mondays and Tuesdays, that is fun for me generally. By THursdays I really need to turn my thoughts to the sermon and service. I try to plan ahead, but also with sick husband, making room for what he needs from me. He did most of the cooking until October and I just cooked on my days off. ALthough he is gaining strength, he has not been able to cook, or walk the dog, or care for the trash since mid=October. Today, he ran the snowblower, yay! and gave me a quick tutorial on the snowblower. So balance, always the struggle. But blogging may be my social salvation when I retire full time. I am hoping for one more year, if the church still wants me, but that will also be up to the District Superintendent, as we have an appointment system. He may want to do something else. I get to be creative at this church, I can be myself and I so appreciate it. Country Methodists, imo, at least this church are a blend between informal and liturgical. I am semi-liturgical. and content. I love the prayer of the Great Thanksgiving, and other things liturgical. Anyway, best and blessings, M

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                    9. Your plate is FULL! It’s good you schedule things throughout the week. I’m sorry your husband had such a hard time with the virus. We’ve been blessed with fairly good health all our lives. I hope you’ll be able to use the snowblower easily. John and I shoveled by hand. I was out there to make sure he didn’t keel over with a heart attack, but I enjoyed shoveling.

                      Our BIL’s brother loves the people in his congregation. He says they are the salt of the earth.

                      I grew up in the Presbyterian Church. John was Lutheran, and I came to love the formal liturgy. It’s a good thing, since I played the services so many years.

                      Are you doing to get more snow? Daughter Kate in NJ was able to get to work today, saying the roads are down to asphalt. They are supposed to have another wave coming.

                      God bless you.

                      Anne

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                    10. Thank you Anne, I am only organized by default, and I procrastinate. Roger actually did most of the snow blowing. I was disappointed no youth from the neighborhood came by. I shoveled and took a few passes with the snow blower. For everything he has been through, cancer 5 years ago that beat him up badly, and in October he was getting ready for a hunting trip to Western PA with his brother and nephew. I had already left for Massachusetts (it ws supposed to be a writing vacation with a friend). He was just starting to load his truck when he missed a step getting down, fell a nd fractured his femur, near the top. We had just gotten into our apartment 45 minutes when my next door neighbor called. I took a day to catch my breath and came home. He worked hard at recovery, a very compliant and motivated patient. Then Recovery. I think he must have a huge reserve of physical strength some how and a reserve of grace! We are supposed to get a few more inches tomorrow. I do appreciate liturgy, but serving rural churches, every church has their own context and culture and I do my best to go with the flow. I haven’t worn my robe here at all or my stoles. I save them for Annual Conference, but last year and this coming year Conference has been virtual. I was raised Roman Catholic, then went to the Episcopal Church and in 1993 wandered into a United Methodist Church and found a sense of spiritual home I had been missing. I still get teased for telling the pastor, “I am not joining this church, I am not getting involved! I just want to come to church and feel good” God is good and probably had a good laugh over my ideas. God bless you too Anne, Michele

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                    11. Roger went through the wringer! Poor man! John and I both had cancer just before we moved to NC seven years ago. Our checkups have been good so far.

                      That’s wonderful that Roger has a will to recover. I had problems after my second knee replacement and walked with a cane for two and a half years. A marvelous physical therapist helped me walk again. I am so thankful to walk normally now.

                      God must laugh at us all the time, especially if he knows we will accept his grace eventually.

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                    12. So glad you have both come throuh the experience and that you had a helpful physical therapist. Oh, the Lutheran Pastor that I mentioned a bit back is Rev. James E. Laurence and his blog is called “My Pastoral Ponderings” he is definitely in NC. He writes something EVERY DAY!!! Poems, prayers, sermons and other thoughts. I like him.

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    1. Oh! You have it worse than we do. We’ve had no trouble finding soap for the dishwasher and washing machine. My favorite store brand of cleaning spray has been missing for a year. Do you suppose the world is any cleaner than it was a year ago???

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  4. Around here I realized that people were no longer hoarding TP when I went inside the grocery and saw fully stocked shelves. It was a shock, I tell you. Sorry you’re still in need of the good stuff. Kind of a bummer, so to speak.

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    1. This was the first time we couldn’t find our store brand on the shelf. Their supply had been spotty all last year, but we managed to get some when we needed it. I can’t wait for these crisp rolls to be used up.

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  5. I just asked my husband this morning how our supply was doing. We are going to do a grocery run in the next few days and I wondered if we were below 30 rolls. 🙂 I hate one-ply and I hate the ones that seem to be more like wax paper. Our ancestors used corn cobs. How did we get so fussy?

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  6. I’m laughing. Guess what I bought this morning when I did a monthly stock up of sundries? Yep…and it’s my favorite…Charmin. I don’t like those ‘splintery’ brands.

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      1. I got the Kroger store brand last time, and I do believe it is better than Charmin! I must say Anne, you generated a lot of conversation with this post and good humor. It was a fun treat today.

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  7. The comments have been as hilarious as your post! I made the mistake many months ago when the hoarding first started, when I accidentally got one-ply TP. GAH!!! That took forEVER to use up. I have been able to find my regular two-ply brand a few times, and I admit to hoarding any time I find the super pack! I have plenty in stock right now but I’ll buy more if I see it. Around here, the shelves have been nearly bare most of the time. I guess it’s just our region. If we go to Oklahoma City, I can usually find what I need, but that’s more than an hour away and we don’t visit there often.

    Thanks for giving me a good laugh, imagining the sight and sound of “crisp” toilet paper.

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  8. Ha ha – when I was stocking up on all groceries, (like I do every Fall to avoid going to the store in Winter), TP was a high commodity … I started worrying I couldn’t find it and the plumber always recommended one ply was best for plumbing. It seemed that everyone else wanted the same one-ply tissue as they had lots of the cushy stuff on the store shelves, but none of the other. The only one-ply that I could see was made from bamboo. The stock boy was loading a lot of bamboo TP on the shelf and I said “I don’t know about this – is it disappearing from the shelves like the regular TP?” “No ma’am” he said … “it was on an end cap and wasn’t moving, so the manager said to bring it down here.” I was glad I didn’t panic and get some … no, just no.

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  9. Anne, I can’t believe people are still hoarding and the supermarkets and suppliers haven’t got this sorted for everyone yet. In the UK there was a problem in March, a limit was quickly put in place and a month later everything calmed down. Crisp is definitely not ideal and sounds like the school loo paper which we could use as tracing paper!

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    1. We were told the manufacturers make one kind of toilet paper at a time and cannot easily change. There was an over-abundance of industrial TP, the kind that comes in huge rolls for public restrooms. You’d think a year would be enough time to get things back on track. I loved your comparison of toilet paper to tracing paper. Marvelous!

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  10. I will share with you our favourite brand – but shh, don’t tell anyone – we don’t want to suffer a shortage, do we?! It’s Cottonelle! Can’t find it anywhere except on Amazon!!! Do you have it in the US?

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    1. The name sounds familiar, but I wouldn’t swear we have it. Today John bought TP for his bathroom. He had a choice of our usual brand — a huge package of obese rolls or a smaller pack of small rolls. I was surprised he picked the smaller one. I’m glad the shelves were fuller and not wiped out.

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  11. Must I ship you some TP Anne? We seem to have a lot in our area again and all kinds of brands.
    The thing I am having a tough time finding is regular sizes canning lids! I thought after last year I would stock up a bit so I would not be scrambling but they never seem to get them in the stores around here. Lar is positive they will show up when I need them….I just keep stalking the shelves when I am out and about.

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    1. John was able to get our regular brand of TP today, but thanks for the offer. I should save the crisp rolls until summer, when they might wilt in the humidity.

      I think there are canning supplies in our grocery, but I never looked for lids.

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