Is Toilet Paper Worth It?

I thought I was losing my mind, and it was all the fault of four rolls of toilet paper.

We found out as soon as we moved to this house that toilet paper from Costco was way too fat for the holders in our bathrooms. We slimmed down to Dollar General size. Of course, the result was that the tiny rolls had to be replaced with alarming frequency. Consider that we are moving into the forgetful stage of our lives, and you can see the problem. The bathroom I restock has a tower that holds four rolls, which is not overly generous. John replenishes the guest bath, stashing rolls under the sinks and in the linen closet.

John left for several days to play with big model trains that you ride on. I knew toilet paper was my sole responsibility, that if I were stuck, no one would respond to my frantic SOS. Truth to tell, his is the only help I would have wanted. I used the final roll in my bathroom and made a mental note to fetch more from the laundry room ,way on the other side of the house. I don’t know how many days one final roll would last, but I suspect it should have been measured in hours. I forget how many times I forgot, but I did finally get four rolls from the laundry room and put them on the kitchen counter. That would be safe. I’d see the little white columns and tote them to the bathroom. There would be no need for mental reminders, since they were out in the open.

092216 Toilet paper stacks.jpg
Recreated scene

A few hours later I looked at the empty counter. I didn’t remember taking anything from there to the bathroom. I’m quite sure I didn’t. Meanwhile, son John $ was packing his gear. He had come here after a hike in the mountains and made several trips out to his car. When he came in again, I asked, “Did you see any toilet paper on the counter? or am I losing my mind?”

My loving son reassured me, “You ARE losing your mind.”

I thought he might have taken them, thinking I was giving them away for the fun of it. That’s the kind of thing I would do if I thought he needed something we had.

“No, Mom,” he said. “I knew there were no extras in the guest bathroom and thought you’d left them out for me to restock.”

Taking no further chances, I took another four rolls and made a direct run to the far bathroom.

I ask you, is toilet paper the signature item you’d use to measure your brain health?

18 thoughts on “Is Toilet Paper Worth It?

  1. I’m going to say yes. My other half walked in as I was reading this and just saw the headline! What the heck kind of stuff are you reading?, he says. Of course toilet paper is essential! We are not cutting back on toilet paper he says! Oh I laughed! I do the same thing! lol

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  2. I’m glad toilet paper does not depict the status of my mental health…otherwise I’d be in a world of trouble. I always get the TP to the bathroom, no worries there. I just forget to buy it from the store. I’m learning to keep a large back stock needless to say!

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  3. This was very funny because I restock the paper as well and I use the Costco size of toilet paper. I try to always replenish with four or five under the sink because no one else bothers. And I’m always the one who runs out.

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    1. When we redid our bathrooms in NY, we had the easy kind of holders. The ones in this house match the rest of the hardware, so we are loathe to change them. When TP failure is rampant here, we’ll probably get new holders. If we can’t remember what we did with the rolls of paper or can’t remember the spouse’s middle name, it certainly won’t matter if the toilet paper holders don’t match. I’m hoping to always know what toilet paper is for!

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