An Honorable Retirement

The gardening gloves were about two years old and still enthusiastic about working. In fact, they resisted retirement. They were permanently curved, ready to pull weeds at a moment’s notice. They chose to be among plants for their retirement photograph. We would have made a much better team if I had been more than a reluctant gardener.

The gloves did have another life and a different persona. I put them on the handles of the loppers for two reasons. I could always find them quickly, and they would dry between uses. I left them as inanimate objects, but they visually jumped at niece Julie when we went on the porch to eat dinner. Somehow the gloves leered at her and took a threatening stance. I had not seen that side of them, but Julie described it realistically. I’m glad the gloves have left the house for good and will not know I wrote about them. To be threatened by the wicked wisteria AND menacing gloves would be too much.

The replacement pair were made by the same company, and so far, they have behaved beautifully. I will continue to store them on the handles, trusting they will not misbehave.

Have you ever owned threatening garden equipment?

22 thoughts on “An Honorable Retirement

  1. I have to admit my garden gloves said to me the first time on “what would make you buy pink garden gloves to pull green weeds? They will be all dirty!” Recently in trying to tackle the gargantuan weed that looks like a rubber plant and has a milky substance inside, the gloves jeered and sneered while they said “really, are you sure you want to get us dirty with that ugly monster of a weed – we prefer you keep us pristine – obviously weeding is not high on your list of priorities.” Sarcastic but what they said was true, so I didn’t quibble.

    I had my first hose reel for 25 years. Got it in 1985 and the nursery assembled it and delivered it when we had all the bushes delivered for the yard … I tore up all the landscaping from my father as it was way overgrown. I also bought a hose that day. I loved that hose reel – sturdy and it overwintered in my neighbor Marge’s garage. One day I was rolling out the hose to water and the whole thing collapsed – just like that … underneath was all rusted and how it didn’t break my foot I don’t know. I looked around and couldn’t find a comparable model so I ordered a larger one from Gardener’s Supply, paid the handyman to put it together and slowly but surely, it fell apart, its pneumatic tires got a flat, one after the other and it fell apart within two years. I still have the hose, now 35 years old and hang it on a hook on the side of the house.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have a pair that I keep forgetting to put on! I was halfway into planing some new flowers this morning when I remembered the gloves, too late!! I´ll touch up the manicure before going out for lunch. xo

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