Tale of an Accident

The tale of an accident can be told several hours later, because it had a happy ending. Neighbor Logan came over when we were having a late breakfast. He drank chocolate milk at the table with us and kept us amused. There is nothing like conversation with a 5-year-old! John began reading him a story while I was preparing two dishes for Easter dinner. Logan’s attention shifted to the piano. He enjoyed playing random notes, drowning out the story. They drifted into John’s office.

You know what accidents are like. One moment everything is fine, and the next there is an explosion of activity as you cope with a mess. I knew seconds later when John shouted to ask me for a roll of paper towels. I hustled to get them and knew only that coffee was everywhere. When the phone rang, I answered it in the kitchen, only to hear gurgling sounds. It happened two or three times. It seems John had a full mug of coffee on his desk while Logan was typing on the computer. The boy was a bit frustrated when he held down one key, and it kept repeating. John was fixing it for him. Suddenly the mug was on the floor, and coffee was flooding everything. John was concerned about the CPU on the floor, as well as a book next to the computer desk. It was only as he moved the undamaged book that he saw coffee coming out of the modem. I put two and two together later and figured that was when the phone gurgled at me.

Coffee damage is nothing new. Both our cars have coffee stains and smell like used coffee. I’d be surprised if there aren’t coffee scars all around the desk, too. John saw only one light blinking on the modem when there should be five or six. He unplugged it and asked me about it. I advised letting it dry out before trying it again. I don’t think anyone knew we were incommunicado for several hours.

After lunch we decided to plug the modem in again. If it didn’t work, we’d contact the cable company to see about a new one. We held our breath. No lights came on for the longest time. I said we should be patient to give it a chance, and we talked of other things. John noticed a green light blinking just before the phone in my pocket came to life. I whipped it out and saw with relief the icon that showed it was connected to the internet. Whew! We were back in business with no one else the wiser.

032516 Logan's school photo.jpg — Logan’s school photograph

Logan’s mom sent me his brand new school picture. They must have used a very fast shutter speed to catch him without a blur. That precious boy moves like lightning.

Ignominious Homecoming

This was the fourth time the Jeep was hauled home in disgrace. After not starting in a national park, on a roadside in Virginia, and at the Asheville airport, we used it only for very local errands. The vehicle gradually acquired a new ignition switch, a new starter motor, and a whole new ignition system after a factory recall. Neighbor Bob worked on it, too, cleaning all the wires that could have caused trouble. This time John couldn’t get home after a doctor’s appointment in the next town, so we left it for two nights. Often it will start the day after balking, but we gave it two chances this time. Oddly enough, I felt sorry for the old boy. He tried his best to start, giving us a click to let us know he was trying. I blame the Jeep company. Many others have had the same trouble with the Commander line, and no one has come up with the definitive fix.

032416 Jeep escorted home.JPG

I came home to decorate Easter cookies while John waited for AAA to pick up the Jeep. My job was much more fun than his.

032416 Cookies for Easter.JPG

Spring Snow

We had quite a bit of spineless snow overnight. It had no determination, no stick-to-it-iveness. I shouldn’t complain, because I know the neighbors were pleased. My feet were happy, too, because there was no black ice lurking to surprise us when we walked. The sun was just coming up when we headed down our street. On the second day of Spring, the toy camera wanted to record snow on the mountain, still sticking to the ground at higher elevations.

032116 Second day of Spring snow on mountains.JPG

St. Patrick’s Day

There was no holiday or parade for St. Patrick’s Day in Western North Carolina, but it was the best personal celebration I could remember. Amy and I knew we were both having company and planned to share the day. John’s sister Chris and husband Steve came specifically to go with us to the Biltmore estate, as did Amy’s friends Mary and Tom. The plans were quite loose. We’d have dinner together in the evening.

031716 Biltmore on leaving.JPG

As we waited at the shuttle stop to go to the mansion, three pairs of hands waved at us from inside the departing bus. We had semi-formal introductions as our groups met at the grand staircase, one going up and one down. Surely we wouldn’t see each other again. We did. There were more greetings in the garden shop when they had finished a picnic lunch, and we had not eaten. We were finishing ice cream treats at the creamery as they arrived. John and I had never before stopped at the last gift shop on the estate, but we clapped each other on the shoulder inside. Having met so often, we chatted like friends of long standing at the dinner table.

031716 St Pat's JC Chris Tom Mary Anne Amy.JPG — John, Chris, Tom, Mary, Anne, and Amy, all wearing green

It should have been neighborhood day at the Biltmore. Neighbor Shawn said she saw us from the shuttle bus as we waited to follow her path. I didn’t know until we got home that she had been there, too. The other surprise to me was seeing a huge number of people wearing green. Shop owners here didn’t realize people would notice the day. There were a token number of decorative items and a mere mention of corned beef at the supermarket. Wake up people! We are more Irish in our hearts than you think!

031716 St Pat's Southerners Tom Mary Amy Anne.JPG — Tom, Mary, Amy, and Anne

I can’t begin to quote conversations from our dinner, but the recurring punctuation was laughter. I wished the evening would never end.

Twice Washed Hair – Blame Henry VIII

As I put the shampoo on my hair, I realized I had already washed it and should have used conditioner. My mind was involved with the hours of TV we watched the night before, several back-to-back videos about Henry VIII. That was as good a way as any to spring our minds from the Downton Abbey series.

I went through the ditty for remembering Henry’s wives:

Divorced

Beheaded

Died

Divorced

Beheaded

Survived

The first two were easy for me to remember, probably because there are more references to them than the others.

Divorced – Catherine of Aragon, causing the split with the Catholic church

Beheaded – Anne Boleyn, courted by Henry for seven years and married about half that

Died – Jane Seymour, died in childbirth, giving Henry his only legitimate son

Divorced – Anne of Cleves who didn’t resemble the miniature portrait Henry saw

Beheaded – Kathryn Howard

Survived – Katherine Parr who might have been beheaded if Henry hadn’t died first

Henry had to remember only three names for his six wives, although the Katherines seemed to have spelled their names differently.

There! End of the history lesson!

Climbing the Railing

Once neighbor Logan discovered he could climb from the driveway onto our porch, he practiced it many times. The toy camera wanted part of the action, too. As soon as Logan saw the camera in my hand, he performed his new stunt proudly. I was shocked when he stood up, swaying a bit in the heavy wind. Instead of frightening him by screaming and running toward him, I held my breath. With the video, you could time how long he balanced. It felt like a full five minutes to me. I’m sure the train cars thought there had been an earthquake, complete with sound effects.

Riding a Bicycle Backwards

School should have tired neighbor Logan out, but he was eager to come play at our house. He struggled to get on my exercise bike, facing the front, and actually made the pedals move. The next time he mounted it backwards, which was probably a bit safer. I had to stifle my giggles.

Visiting Biltmore

Neighbors Shawn and Bob went with us to visit Biltmore, the Vanderbilt mansion in Asheville. They had not been there for a long time, and I wanted to see the wedding costumes from movies that were on display. The shuttle bus driver said a few magic words that excited me. Visitors were allowed to take photos! We were asked not to use flash, but this was the first time I let the toy camera out of my pocket inside the mansion.

The winter garden was decked out with flowers and huge swags of white material, going with the theme of romantic weddings. I took a quick back shot of Shawn and Bob there.

031016 Bob and Shawn look at winter garden Biltmore.JPG

I wish I’d stayed closer to our friends, because they say as many amusing things as neighbor Amy. When we stepped onto a second floor balcony, Bob said, “This would make a good hunting blind.”

031016 Bob Shawn John on balcony.JPG — Bob, Shawn, and John on the balcony

I’ll include one set of pictures from the special display – the sign and costumes from the movie of Pride and Prejudice. My shots were not good because of the lighting, but the displays were lovely, scattered about the main rooms.

031016 Biltmore Pride and Prejudice costumes

Our tickets included a wine tasting, something I’ve never done before. I took a quick shot of the others, and the waiter offered to get us all. He quickly put bottles on the counter and turned one so that the Biltmore label showed. I’m sure the camera grinned when the man commented on how small it was.

031016 Bob Shawn JC AM wine tasting Biltmore.JPG

We had a quick lunch nearby and went straight to Logan’s school to pick him up. Shawn and Bob opened the car windows so their son could see their faces in a strange car. We were soon home and ready to put our feet up after a fun day out.

Going Toe Up

Neighbor Amy says at least one amusing thing every time I talk to her. We talk long enough that I can’t recall the one sentence out of a thousand that tickled me. This time it was different. I had John as a witness, and we stopped to talk about the phrase.

Amy planned to have an older man do some heavy yard work for her, but she was afraid he might overdo it. She said, “I wouldn’t want him to go toe up on me.”

Bet you got it before I did. “Going toe up” means dying. I had some Tennessee phrases that people in New York found amusing, but my list was far shorter than hers.

Wrong Side of the Coat

Neighbor Amy began watching the TV series Downton Abbey when the fifth season was in progress. Before the finale, she wanted to see everything leading up to it. John and I expressed an interest in it, so we had marathon viewing sessions for a week. I skipped the last few, coming home to see the finale on TV.

I was having a hard time bending to pick up anything, because the back/hip pain was a muscle spasm that could last two to three weeks. Amy kindly picked up my jacket and held it for me. As I put my arms in the sleeves, I said, “This makes me feel like I’m at Downton with people to wait on me.”

Amy, ever quick with an amusing answer, said, “Yes, but I’m on the wrong side of the coat.”