Cracker Etiquette

Is there a right or wrong way to serve salted crackers? I never thought to question it, because all my life, I knew which way was correct. What was there to question? Like so many of my preconceived notions, this one had not been thoroughly examined.

To set the stage, I’ll tell you about the Law of Wind according to Anne. I grew up in the South before air-conditioning was available. Most folks went to church, and they used the cardboard fans in the pews just to stay alive through a long sermon. Since most of the fans were provided free by local undertakers, I eventually made the connection that you’d die of the heat if you didn’t use the fan. Before that, though, I observed that the moving fan generated wind to cool the face. I should have realized it was only a theory. One of my most embarrassing moments came from my faulty Law of Wind. Someone at the dinner table spoke of the wind, and I said, “It can’t be windy because the trees aren’t moving.”

Someone older and wiser asked, “What on earth are you talking about?”

I explained my 10-year-old reasoning, “The trees make wind by moving their branches. You know, like when you use a fan.”

Everyone cackled. At that point in time, I learned that trees did not generate breezes. I wondered for years after that where wind came from. You can list things like temperature, rotation of the earth, oceans, and barometric pressure, but wouldn’t you agree that my premise is much easier to understand?

Now, back to crackers and how to serve them. I’m talking about the standard ones – saltines, Ritz, and club crackers. I need to check this out, but I think the pictures on boxes of crackers always show the salted side facing up. Why only one side has salt is beyond the scope of this post. All my life I KNEW the proper side to add cheese or peanut butter was on the top side where the salt was. Old age brought me up short. Failing eyesight and low light were the two factors that made me question the Law of Crackers. I couldn’t see that I had put crackers on my plate with the salt side down. I would NEVER have willingly spread peanut butter on the bare side. Proceeding in ignorance, I did just that. My eyes opened wide in surprise as the salt hit my tongue and gradually mingled with the sweeter peanut butter. What a revelation! I am going to have to carefully reconsider the rule I followed for 70 years. There may be times when food tastes better when crackers are wrong side up. Could we have a vote here? Right side? Wrong side? Buy unsalted? Switch to bread?

77 thoughts on “Cracker Etiquette

  1. I tend to dip my crackers in PB. Does that count as a neutral vote regarding which side should be up? Sideways for me. And with cheese, I’m more likely to take a bite of cheese and savor it then when I’ve given it due respect, take a nibble of the cracker to let the flavors mix for a new culinary delight to my taste buds. So no side-choosing there, either.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I looked at a box of Ritz in the supermarket today, and it showed salt on the top. The other box of crackers next to it was a non-salted kind. I had my camera, but I don’t think a photo would have showed the salt.

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  2. I have never considered that the salted side of a cracker might be the one that has to host the topping. I’m a free spirit, so whichever side of the cracker gets the peanut butter is ok by me. Live wild and free, my dear.

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    1. My friends laugh at me because I live with so many rules. The crackers don’t have rules, but I do!! The psychologists are nodding right now.

      Thank you very much for voting for my Law of Wind! You are the very first to support my youthful logic.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Anne,
    Right side would be the salt less side.:).
    Left side would be the salty side.
    By that logic, the PB should go on the saltless side.
    A great point for a debate and a more sensible one than the ones politicians debate about.
    Which side of an egg should one crack open- the broad or the narrow end or right in the middle?( Gullivers travels)

    Susie

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Your logic is better than mine, but my logic was faulty from birth. I certainly would not want to debate a politician on any subject!!

      I’d have to ask whether the egg were raw or boiled. That would make a huge difference for me.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Bless you for calling it creative thinking!!! I feel mighty dumb when letting people peek into my mind. It’s daring in a way, to see who will speak to me afterwards. Thank you, dear friend!

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      1. Sorry Anne, I DID tag you into my last post which was a ‘thank you’ to all my followers of my old blog. It should have generated an email to you. I would never just leave and swap to a new blog without letting people know. Maybe I should send you the link? Or maybe I had missed your name off? I will check. xx

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  4. Totally agree with you. Although it has never been a consideration, after reading this I realize I always put cheese or PB on the “top” side with the salt. However, as a means of the decision I will try both. A wonderful excuse to have PB and crackers! Thanks, Anne. And while I’m at it I think I will drizzle a little honey on top!

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    1. Well, that’s as good an excuse as any! I’m coming to realize that VERY FEW people ever thought about a right and wrong side of a cracker. As you might guess, my mind is a strange place.

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    1. Yes, I do follow Cobs. She last posted on April 12. That’s the one where she explained that her husband was putting up shelves in the craft room and painting in there. She also mentioned little Cobs had a birthday. She ended with, “Anyhoo … normal service will be resumed once everything is back to normal. Until then … please take very good care of yourself.”

      It’s good to know there is a reason behind her silence. Hope she’ll return soon.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hmmm – what do you do with Triscuits which are the same on both sides? I am kidding as you pose the question as to club crackers or Ritz crackers only. But, I have to tell you, that I have always put “stuff” on the unsalted side because I figure the salted side has its own topping. How do you get the peanut butter not to break a cracker as soft as a Ritz or club cracker? Unless you just pile on a big blob and not smooth it out (my personal favorite way to do it with peanut butter, cream cheese or a squirty cheese). I gave up Ritz and club crackers when I switched to all whole-grain crackers a few years ago, so I usually have Triscuits or Wheat Thins instead … they are dippable right into the peanut butter when you have a brand-new jar. Don’t tell anyone I do that as it is akin to standing at the fridge and drinking the juice or milk right out of the bottle or carton. But it is okay as I live alone, so it is my own personal slobber. 🙂

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  6. We eat crackers the way they are, from the packets. Sometimes I slice cheese and munch it on the side, jam or jelly are good too but never peanut butter. We are peanut butter eaters here Anne.

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    1. I never thought of putting jam or jelly on crackers. That would be too much of a good thing and therefore guilt-producing. We had cheese and crackers tonight. I asked John which side he put the cheese on, and he said he never looks. He didn’t realize salt was on one side and not the other.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m sorry to say my comment is not here and I wrote a long one. I’ll check back tomorrow and if it still doesn’t show up, then I’ll have to rewrite it. This has happened with every other comment I’ve posted today.

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      1. I am here this a.m. because we are having rain again – sigh. But I have been commenting on a nice Swedish fellow’s blog – he has multiple posts a day, all with pictures. I commented on your post, his two or three posts and a few others – and none of them ended up there. I got frustrated because there are certain people I always comment on and these were their blogs.
        The Swedish guy wrote me and I just responded – his comment ended up in my spam, and my comments were in his spam.
        Nothing in the comments were of a “spam” nature – including my post to you (the first one re: crackers) … maybe it went to spam for you too? Hope you got to walk. I don’t have a smartphone so commenting only using internet/computer.

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      2. It cleared around 9:30 or so, too late for me to go out. I have just written to Akismet to have them look into it. Comments of mine are going into other’s SPAM and some people’s comments are going to my SPAM. I hope you find it, otherwise, I will redo my comment later today. I am going to star saving my comment so I know what I said. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Oh my goodness! I used to just check my spam folder a few times a week when I just had my e-mail followers, but after things “took off” at Thanksgiving, I checked every other day. Then about three or four weeks ago, I checked and there were three new people making nice comments – one was Susie Shy. I felt badly and made apologies and now check daily. Also there was a Norwegian blogger who kept going into spam and all he was doing was tagging me for something to participate in where you do a “tell all about yourself” … so the other 59 for you are not legit messages, but real spam? See, I get alot of that too. But what I don’t like is if I do a comment and think it is in cyberspace as it doesn’t land on the site, so I’ll see if they can find why that is happening. Glad you found the comment.

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      4. Yes, and I found out that you are to also mark as “not spam” so that next time their comment won’t go there. I’m not sure I did that before, I may have just approved the comment only.
        Hmmm – maybe there is a book you have to read on all this?

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      5. And I contacted them this afternoon – of course NOW everything is working, so don’t know whether to write back and say everything is okey-dokey now or not.

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      6. I just checked to see if I had a SPAM so I could show you. I do and have taken a screen shot of it and highlighted where the “not spam” button is. I had to look all over because this is the largest SPAM I’ve ever gotten before … it went on forever selling vacuum cleaners.

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  8. I asked my husband this cracker dilemma. He gave me an odd look and said he wasn’t too worried about it as once he was chewing it all mingled anyway. I grew up with the cracker sandwich and PB method. I am not sure salt side in or out thought. My husband grew up putting frosting on saltines.

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    1. Frosting on saltines! That sounds thoroughly decadent! As to salt side up or down, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t keep the salt facing up. Maybe, just maybe, the next time I eat crackers, I’ll force myself to not notice how they are facing.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I have to admit I’ve never given it so much thought. I don’t know how I do them. Buuut, I do recall many years ago sitting at the telly eating a whole stack of pB & crackers with a tall glass of milk. That was many years ago (sigh) before I discovered I was lactose intolerant and had a few pounds too many for such indulgences.

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