England 40 Years Ago — September 14, 1980

Kate’s finger is getting better, though looking awful. John took her to the casualty department Monday night, and she came home beaming with the impressively large bandage on it. She was told to keep it on for five days, but it fell off before then. You should have seen some of the funny looking things I fashioned to keep it padded. This morning I tied one on so hard that she lost the feeling in the finger, then fixed it so loose that it fell off as she was walking. I’ll get good at it when she no longer needs anything.

One night John worked late, and we got behind a little milk delivery truck on the way back from the station. Many of them have three wheels and are electric, as this one was. However, this was late at night, the battery must have been one step away from zero power, and it whirred and wheezed up a slight incline. It was the funniest thing, and I nearly fell out laughing. John was embarrassed and afraid the driver would notice me draped over the steering wheel howling. You could almost hear it saying, “I think I can. I think I can.” I didn’t stick around to see if it did.

As I was feeding John $, his attention was diverted toward the girls. He turned his body, head and eyes away, but left his mouth behind and open for the next bite!

Everyone kept telling us to go to Sutton to a certain store for some school clothes. “It’s straight up the road that goes over the Downs,” they said. We found the town with all its one-way streets, couldn’t find the store or a place to park, rain began, and we returned home defeated. I hate to think how hard it is to get to a place that is difficult to find.

The Sutton day brightened up when we saw $ stand alone for the first time. He was by my bed near where I was mending some clothes, and Kate pointed to him and said, “Look what John is doing!’ Hasn’t done it since, but I’m sure he will in time.

Thought for one day – it’s no wonder I dislike cutting fingernails and toenails, for there are 100 of them under this one roof! I’m only responsible for 80. I ignore 40 of those and cut the 20 that scratch me.

Do you know how to get your money’s worth here? You get value for money.

On the 11^th I saw the first squirrel since leaving the States. It was a gray one and looked just like those we’re used to.

Bought a second-hand sewing machine that was a gross mistake – it works better than my big one at home, and I’m going to be spoiled. I re-sewed the seams on the girls’ napkin cases for school and made Kate a case for her comb that is required. Also, about five garments have been mended. Nice.

Walter R. was here for dinner Thursday night. He is one of John’s good friends from the New York office and was in town for a week.

Friday we went to Cathy D’s for coffee. [Cathy had stayed with the Methodist minister’s family in my home town for a vacation. Her minister and the Ripley man had swapped pulpits for a short while.] She’d also invited Vivienne somebody who described her house as the one with the peeling paint. Our landmark is a dead white birch in front. The morning was fun, both ladies being able to tell good stories and pointing out some of the things they feel are odd about the British. They said their countrymen are noted for their eccentrics. Cathy went on to tell a story about a young German fellow she knew who said he hated the British. One day it was raining, he was hurrying to put up his umbrella and duck into a big store, and that was the moment he said he decided to love the English people. He suddenly realized he was on an escalator with his umbrella still up and held over his head. Not one person laughed or paid any attention to this odd sight! Cathy said people probably thought there was another crazy Englishman!

Saturday the doorbell rang twice so that only I could hear it. The first time Jehovah’s Witnesses found me in robe and rubber gloves, the second a doctor from St. Mary’s saw me with a dressed body and undressed hair, just washed. Ugh! Being proper English people, though, they didn’t comment.

Lisa has fallen into the habit of calling John, “Dud.” It’s half funny and half disrespectful. If I don’t watch out, my name will be “Mud.”

Today we went to Winchester Cathedral expecting the morning service to be at 11. It had been at 10:30, and we arrived in time for the anthem.

This was my Sunday to be in charge of the time bomb who began to test the acoustics as the anthem was ending. He doesn’t cry, but just lets out sounds like an owl. I wandered around outside with him, taking pictures, listening to the music which came through faintly, and heading for the car when rain started. The others weren’t far behind. They stayed for choral Eucharist beginning at 11:30 until communion was being served. Somewhere John read that that church is the longest of its type in Europe. Gothic, John tells me.

The back of Winchester Cathedral, taken while I walked baby $

Then we drove on to Tucktonia near Bournmouth. I left out an “e” in that name; would you know where to put it? This place is a model landscape having miniatures of St. Paul’s Cathedral, Windsor Castle, Westminster, etc. It is outdoors, has trains running all around, boats sailing in waters, airplanes taxiing, figures playing cricket and much more. The trains were almost LGB scale.

Big Ben is taller than I am, but I could look down on Buckingham Palace. We all enjoyed it a lot. This is one place where strollers are allowed, thank heavens! Photos below show Lisa with Big Ben, our family before Windsor Castle, and Tower Bridge. [Years later Lise looked for Tucktonia on the internet and found it has been dismantled.]

Below are photos of St. Paul’s Cathedral, front and back, and Lisa with Westminster Abbey.

I know what you’re going to do. You’ll reread this letter and realize my math isn’t much worse than my spelling because 20 digits aren’t accounted for. That’s exactly John’s complaint when he gets scratched by one of those odd 20 that haven’t been taken care of.

Clewes has begun praising my cooking, probably wondering what else he’ll get if he keeps it up. I’m going to turn the tables on him and praise his gardening. After one of these praise sessions he told me that he firmly believes NO ONE does everything perfectly, just daring me to disclose my weak points, no doubt. I ‘fessed that I was a failure at shopping for clothes, and wouldn’t you know it, he was here the day we came home from Sutton with our tails between our legs! Maybe that’s what is wrong with my attitude – we assume the wrong posture before we get out!

England 40 Years Ago — September 8, 1980

Someone commented last Sunday that there must have been a wedding because of the confetti. The girls picked up a few pieces, and we discovered it was paper in the shapes of hearts, flowers, horse shoes, etc. The only confetti we had seen before was made up of tiny pieces of shredded paper.

In talking of beds, we discovered that what we call a cot (folding bed) they call a ZED BED. They’d probably write it as “Z bed”, but of course pronounced Zee as Zed. A baby’s bed is a cot here, not a crib.

It’s odd that some differences show up at once, and it may take a long time for other things to come to one’s attention. I noticed the other day that the home where Lisa has her French tutoring has no front door knob. Then I happened to look at our door, and we don’t have one either!!

John $ is getting frisky. This week he chased me around the kitchen table while I was using a brush and dustpan. He wanted to play with the dirty thing, and I was working as fast as possible to get the mess cleaned up and avoid him. He had a small wooden toy in each hand while crawling and sounded like a child running on stilts.

One afternoon John $ scooted for the stairs, went up three and came back down time after time. He actually discovered for himself how to come down. I was SO IMPRESSED at how smart he was. Since then he has run up the stairs at every forbidden opportunity and absolutely refuses to try to come down. So much for my pride!

We went to the school to pick up a new uniform list, and Kate wanted to read it. Lisa was pushing John, and Kate and I were walking side by side. All of a sudden I heard a thumpy ring and found Kate not beside me – she’d walked right into a lamp post!!! I wished I’d caught her first expression with a camera. I tried my best to soothe her, but that is hard when one is doubled over with laughter. Lisa controlled herself better than I did and managed to calm her down. All that really suffered was Kate’s dignity.

The children and I went to Barbara C.’s for coffee. She’d also invited a woman with two girls, the older of whom is entering Micklefield this term. The woman is a doctor who decided not to practice until her children are older! It was a very pleasant morning. Both the doctor, Penny, and Barbara are active in home groups – church people who meet in homes for different activities such as Bible study, meals, games, etc. Penny invited John and me to join her group. Penny also runs a play group that meets Friday mornings. Ladies with young children take their little ones to the church hall and watch them play while the ladies talk. This is not a sitting service because I don’t think you can leave your child there unless you stay. After school starts, I may go. She said she is looking for committed Christians to be part of the group. Evidently many who come are not “committed.” I don’t know if that is a statement of their lack of faith or lack of church work.

The tea bags I buy have no tags! Gardener Clewes said some brands do have tags, but I haven’t bought any of them yet.

They don’t have sidewalks here – only pavements.

John $ and I had quite an adventure in the car. I had dropped John C. off at the station and drove on to the car place where I had an appointment for a little more work they had not finished the previous week. I had spoken for a car to hire (not rent), but they had none at all. They decided to do the work while I waited. I put $ in the push chair and waited. Before too long they finished and I drove off. Meanwhile, the girls were still in bed at home and not with me. About half way home $ wriggled out of his car seat. I clamped a hand on him until I could get to a place to pull off, but had to go through a round-about. In the middle of that crazy circle he grabbed the shift stick and put the car in neutral! I was able to get off the road, tie him down, and continue but somehow in the excitement missed a turn. I was so glad to get home in one piece. The whole time I was gone was under an hour and a half, but it felt like three! I came in telling the girls that I was there only because the Lord had been with me!

The afternoon’s shopping expedition finished me off. We bought school shoes for fifty pounds, which is over $100. We got outdoor shoes, sandals and ballet slippers for both girls. I realize that is six pair, but heavens! What money!

We were expecting company Saturday night, but the man called it off because of conjunctivitis. His, not ours.

I’m worried about John C. He bought a transformer for the trains Saturday and hasn’t hooked it up yet. He was trying to finish a big job he’d started outside and took the whole day carting us around yesterday (Sunday). I’ll think him more normal when he hooks it up!

Yesterday we went to the Lutheran church, picnicked by the road side, drove through Canterbury without stopping and went on to Dover. We got stuck in a traffic jam coming home that was worse than a New York jam. If that had happened while we were all in our little car, we would have ended up with relativitis.

The white cliffs are beautiful; we walked along the promenade, and the girls ran down to the water just to be able to say they’d had their hands in the English channel.

We went through, or rather, up to Dover Castle, one of the oldest fortifications in England. After going all around the square keep, we went in and climbed up to the top. There were displays of armor, a model of the battle of Waterloo,and a fantastic view from the top. Also went through an exhibit of costumes used in the series Henry VIII, some series about Elizabeth and some other historical people. That is, TV series. The girls were so thrilled to see them in person, having just watched the end of Henry.

Today Kate slammed the front door on her finger. There was lots of blood, a big flap of skin, and a few screams. I thought it looked pretty good, but neighbor Carol was concerned and told me which hospital to take her to. I’m waiting for John to come home to see what he thinks.

Neighbor Mary Ann bought a new fish, decided her bowl was too small and asked for permission to put three of her pretty gold fish in our pond. Everyone, including the fish, seemed to like the idea. I thought the fish belonged to her brother, but maybe not.

Camera Not Handy! September 2000

Daughter Kate and her boys spent the afternoon with us. It was almost unbearably humid, so I retreated to my air-conditioned bedroom where Nathaniel (7 months) was sleeping in a portable crib. Before long David (5) joined me on the bed. I read three books to him before he began constructing a tent with blankets. The baby slept for an hour and a half, then began to whimper. David kindly handed him a toy and put the pacifier in his mouth, a process that was repeated many times before Nathaniel began to protest earnestly. I wasn’t ready to give up the cool air, so I jotted a note to Kate on a scrap piece of paper I keep beside the bed.

I wrote, “Kate, Nathaniel wants his mommy,” and asked David to take it to his mother.

This is what the boys looked like that month as they played in the Narthex at church.

David returned, saying he had given her the note, and resumed his cycle of playing and trying to keep Nathaniel happy. After a while I scooped the baby up and headed downstairs. Kate was sound asleep on the sofa. Between her thumb and forefinger was my note. When I told John the story a day later, he laughed and said someone had probably warned David not to wake his mother. He had delivered the note, alright, but it had no visible effect on that sleeping form.

S’mores on Labor Day

Grandson David worked a full shift on the holiday and came home to eat his warmed bison burger, prepared earlier by Uncle John $pencer. We had been longing for S’mores, a common campfire dessert made with Graham crackers, milk chocolate candy squares, and marshmallows. David’s mom had left the extra fixings from our July 4^th celebration. The grill was long since cold, so David and I roasted marshmallows over a candle before assembling our S’mores. They tasted good, although they would have been better among laughing relatives.

Sadie is always ready to party, but when all is quiet in the house, she curls up to sleep. I found her in the living room. The pillow just happened to be at just the right angle for her head. Sweet dreams, Sadie.

Labor Day 20 Years Ago

September 4, 2000 On Labor Day John and I went out to eat in the middle of the day. I knew we couldn’t go far, because John was slated for the late shift at Borders. We both wished to avoid the tourist crowds in Port Jeff, and neither of us wanted to spend a mint on lunch. We ended up at a diner. It was surprisingly busy, with people constantly coming and going. You know the old game of “what’s wrong with this picture” where you look at a drawing and pick out an incongruous item? It dawned on me that I was looking at one of those. In a booth close to us were three Chinese people. Now I know they have to eat like all normal humans, but I can’t remember ever seeing any Chinese people in a diner before. I hope they enjoyed their hearty meal as much as we did.

My dad and I laughed about Labor Day being a holiday where half the people work extra hard serving those who have the day off. John fit in the first category, I in the second. I began the day with newspaper in bed. Forget having breakfast in bed. That’s nasty! I can’t abide crumbs in bed, and that’s what breakfast is all about. No, I’d take a newspaper any day. I showered, dressed, fetched the paper from the road and lolled on the bed reading it and working the crossword puzzle. What a way to start the day! Of course, it helps that it was Monday, and I can usually work the easiest puzzle of the week with a pen. I finished reading a book, streamlined the start-up routine of the computer, went out to eat with John and resumed reading. Meanwhile, John was serving stressed-out people at Borders. The day was stacked against book sellers. First, it was Monday which is Senior Citizen’s day. Checking proof of age adds to the check out procedure. Second, it was an overcast day. Bad weather seems to herd people into the store in droves. Third, it was a holiday and fourth, it was the day before teachers return to school. John was working the late shift, so he dealt with teachers whining that the books they wanted were sold out. He felt free to criticize them, because all the teachers we know are much more organized than that.

Grampy (brother-in-law Thom’s dad) wrote about their Labor Day:

“About Labor Day. While others take a holiday, we just keep doing what we do every day during the year. Wake up, get up, wash up, eat up, dress up, try to think what day it is and then get our get up and go started. Then it’s time for a break. And when you don’t do anything it is very hard to take a break.”

Not Alone??

Few things are more delicious than taking a Sunday afternoon nap. We huddled in our jackets at outdoor church, ate a wonderful lunch at Fatz, and enjoyed the mountain scenery on the way home. Surely there was no better way to digest it all than to sleep for half an hour. I woke refreshed and turned off the alarm with 10 seconds before it would have rung. With eyes shut, I savored the moment.

I had the feeling I wasn’t alone. John was at his computer in the next room, and grandson David and son John $pencer were somewhere in the house. If they had come in my open door, they would have either tiptoed out or spoken to me. I didn’t hear anything and didn’t see anything, but I felt a presence. I moved an inch or so and found Sadie lying against me, as still as could be. What a surprise! I didn’t think she could get up on the bed. We had changed the mattress and springs to taller ones, and a topper added a few more inches. Evidently I slept through her great leap and her walking on the bed. It was marvelous that she didn’t nudge me or try to wake me up. From the hall, David saw the dog and came in. Sadie decided it was play time and tried to lick every inch of my arm. That got me up quickly! David saw Sadie jump off the bed, turn around, and take a standing leap back on it. I’ll never be alone for a nap again unless I shut the door.

Outdoor church looked like this a few weeks ago. Today there were more jackets being worn.

Apple Fritters in the Moat

A week ago, we brought home apple fritters and left them on the kitchen counter. That evening grandson David saw tiny ants on the box. Not only were they on the box, they were IN the box, crawling all over those lovely fritters. This time I was determined the ants were not going to feast on our treat. I filled a shallow bowl with water, stood a tall glass in the middle, added a plastic container to support the box, and put the fresh fritters on top. I knew the ants would not be able to swim to the glass and get in the box.

David snickered when he saw the fritter tower. Son John $pencer saw us eating breakfast and asked, “Are you eating the Critter Fritters?”

Yes, we ate those ant-free fritters and enjoyed every bite.

Do you have a story of outwitting ants or mice?

England 40 Years Ago — August 31, 1980

I apologize for last week’s letter which John intimated wasn’t worth reading. I waited until too late at night to start, and we all know what happens to me at night!

We’ve had a good week, and I’m still enjoying the memories of my brother’s visit. Today I served Baked Grits to the Mary and Tony L. They loved the grits, wondered about having the recipe, but backed off when I said we’d had it flown over special delivery! [Susan and Bob brought the grits to us.]

Last Monday John was outside, and I saw him suddenly shade his eyes and look up. He is sure he saw the my brother’s plane go overhead! The time was right, and he said he could identify the Delta tail. That reminds me of when we were waiting for them to arrive, John having already left to go to the airport. Every once in a while Kate would say, “I hear a plane. It must be theirs.” It seemed odd to me, but then I thought that we have often listened for trains in Stony Brook or for the bus, and that is all she was familiar with. So often we are the ones flying and being met.

I’m not sure I mentioned it last week, but it hit home to me how far away all of you are. I had all the linens from the beds of Bob and his family washed, dried, and put away before they could have gotten to Atlanta. And as you might have guessed, one does not hurry the drying here!

[At some point we drove by a field for the game of bowls, which I think was near the shopping area of Reigate. We must have gotten out of the car, judging by the photo I took. I looked up the rules for the game, but there were too many permutations for me to get a clear idea of what we saw.]

Kate and I had a different shopping Tuesday at Co-op. We’d dropped Lisa off for her French lesson, parked and got a sticker, and realized we’d left John’s stroller at home. She agreed to help carry heavy things back to the car, so we set off with me carrying $. On the return I had one heavy bag and $ on my hip, like a bag of potatoes. Gee, come to think of it, he doesn’t weigh much more than a sack of spuds. I should have had an extra bag with me and stuck him in one. Wonder what he would have thought of that.

Wednesday Mr. Wolters, the agent, came here to discuss house business with us, John having taken the day off from work for it. Clewes said, “I hope he’s in a good mood.” Clewes dreads his visits and transmitted a little of that to me. Mr. Wolters is a very meticulous man. Let me describe him. He’s in his 60’s or 70’s, dresses extremely neatly, even wearing an ascot tie over his neck brace. I wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of him! He appeared promptly that day bearing gifts!! He presented each girl with a “sensitive plant”, explaining that he grows them to give away. They are marvelous! They fold up their leaves if you touch them, and even droop on the main branches if you rub the branch. They also go to bed between 6 and 7 at night. That evening the girls checked every few minutes to see if there was something in nature that actually wanted to go to bed so early! They did. I thought the poor plants would be worn out much earlier for all the exercise they got, opening and closing. I was as guilty as they – great fun!

A little later before we did the grand tour of the house, Mr. Walters brought out another gift – a crown coin minted in honor of the Queen Mother’s 80^th birthday. He had one for each girl and handed me one for $. He said he thought it would be a nice keepsake since they were here in the country when the event took place.

We went over questions we had about the inventory book and discussed some plumbing work. While Mr. Wolters was here, some of the system went on the blink, so he immediately put in a call for a plumber. We also walked around the grounds discussing upkeep of the plants. We all breathed a little easier after he refused the invitation to lunch and left.

That night we went next door for an after-dinner drink to visit with that couple and meet the people in the next house down. We had a pleasant time, and I was just about to suggest we go home when they served coffee and cookies. Then we had to stay longer. The girls stayed home with John $, and Lisa stayed up reading until 11:30. We were home about midnight. Ken C. works for Phillips, as does Peter B. Ken seems to be upper management, while Peter must be much lower. Peter’s wife, Pat, is a teacher in the Priory School. Doris C. doesn’t work.

[I still remember a story Ken told on himself that night. He didn’t know what a big deal Thanksgiving was in the US. He was traveling on business and accepted two invitations for Thanksgiving dinner, one at noon and one that evening. He ate heartily at the first and could hardly bear to put anything on his plate at the second.]

Thursday I took the car for servicing, a much-dreaded job. We were waiting for the plumber, so the girls stayed here while I dropped John off at the station and drove on to take the car. Had to drive almost to Gatwick to get to the place and nearly lost my cool when I found the car they would rent to me was straight shift. The nice fellow must have noted my panic, for he managed to find an automatic for me. Got home before 9, and no plumber. In fact, he never came at all that day! What a nuisance! I could have told him what was wrong – the whole system has arthritis. There is a strange swelling of the joints in a pipe in the cloakroom. When the boy came the next morning, he fixed the problem (restoring water, both hot and cold, to all taps other than the one in the kitchen). Gradually, one by one, the taps had failed the days before until there was cold water, and that only in the kitchen. I’d heated water on the stove for John to shave and $ to take a puddle bath in the kitchen. His solution – to scrape calcium deposits off the holding tank valve in the attic. Now doesn’t it sound like arthritis? Poor old house. [Cold water came directly from the street to the kitchen tap and to that holding tank in the attic. After we had lived there a few weeks, someone told us that birds often fell in holding tanks, and that’s why you shouldn’t drink the water except in the kitchen. That advice was too late. We’d already established the habit of brushing our teeth in our rooms. Another odd fact for Americans – English houses often had a sink in every bedroom. I think there were four or five sinks upstairs in this house.]

[We went to Dover on the English coast during August of 1980. I took a photo of the Roman lighthouse, said to be the oldest building in England. It must be the hexagonal ruin near the middle of the picture.]

Friday John took the girls to London to have them try on their uniforms for school. They had been delivered here, but we thought most of the things too large. The ladies reassured him that bagginess was the fashion! My only comfort is that the girls will grow and perhaps look better in the uniforms.

[This month I used all but three of the photos I took during August of 1980. The last is one of John. I have no idea where he was or why I took the picture.]

Yesterday John bought two carp, two eely things and two water snails to keep the goldfish company. They have been more active ever since.

Today, as I mentioned, Mary and Tony came for dinner after church. What I didn’t mention to you or them was that John was sick. He’d had a sort of stomach virus, thought he was over it, but had one last attack just at the time we were leaving for church. He wouldn’t chance going to church with the nearest loo across the road in the church hall. Of course, he wanted to go to church and also didn’t want to have to admit to the company that he wasn’t entirely well. We didn’t think he would give it to them, so we just blithely announced that he had stayed home with the baby. Luckily for me they had someone coming to their home at 4 because I began to feel green around the gills during coffee. [Going through the COVID-19 pandemic now, I’m horrified that we did not postpone the dinner.]

Served Lemon Rub Pie today, and Mary asked if there were any foreign ingredients before requesting the recipe.

Hope all of you are fine. We certainly do appreciate all the letters.

Peanut Butter on the Wall

The title should be How to Bathe a Dog, but that would turn off people who have/will never own a dog. Son John $pencer spoke of giving Sadie a bath, and I wondered why he didn’t dread it. He said, “It’s easy. I put peanut butter on the wall.”

Sadie rolled in something smelly in our yard, making her socially unacceptable. I asked to observe the cleaning routine. $ smeared peanut butter on the tub wall before whistling for Sadie, and she trotted in eagerly. She didn’t struggle a bit as he lifted her into the tub. If she noticed when he rubbed in the dog shampoo and rinsed her off, she never let on.

I presume the trick is to know how quickly your dog will clean the wall. Of course, it would also be good to know whether the pet likes peanut butter. If you have used the p-butter method, please let me know if it worked for you. If you had a disaster, I will consider removing this post for the good of mankind and best friends.

Vitamin Box to Waste Basket

This is the story of how a vitamin box became a waste basket. When it is time to gather the trash to take to the collection center, we swoop around the house emptying waste baskets. I line two with supermarket bags, one in the bedroom and one in the master bathroom. The photo, with Sadie as background, shows one basket properly lined.

Sadie asks, “Why are you taking a photo of me behind a wastebasket?”

Son John $pencer was the one swooping that day, and it was hours later that I thought of getting replacement bags. John ties up used bags for recycling in the laundry room, so I struggled to retrieve two and put them on the kitchen counter. More hours later, I opened a box with vitamins and threw it in the bathroom basket without thinking. This made more sound than usual, alerting me to the unlined basket. Out came the box, and I tucked in a smaller box from a toothpaste sample. By bedtime the vitamin box had two more additions, a tissue and a flossing pick. It wouldn’t take long for this new little litter basket to overflow.

Valiant vitamin box aka Little Waste Basket

The next morning I looked for the bags I had put on the counter, but they were gone. I tugged two more from the tied bag, then saw the original two wadded up. John, bless his heart, must have tidied up the counter. I can see that a 24-hour time limit for replacing liners was a bit too long. Does anyone have a tip about reminding yourself to do something on opposite ends of the house when it isn’t related to what you are doing at the moment? In other words, I NEED HELP!