England 40 Years Ago — April 12, 1981

I thought it was really something the day we flew a kite in church, but last Sunday was the limit. There was a stripper in the pulpit! A young minister who had been at St. Mary’s a few years ago was preaching on Jesus’ washing of the disciples’ feet and acted out the scene. He removed his stole and used his surplice as a towel, then went on to say Jesus removed his outer garment as he unbuttoned the black part of his vestments.

One day this past week I did nothing but run! We picked up Mr. Clewes (the gardener), drove to Walton, went to Co-op on the way to coffee at Penny’s in Redhill, drove home for lunch, back to Reigate to return Clewes, and then home again. Don’t want many days like that! I started cooking dinner at 6:45.

At Penny’s we met a woman and her son coming out. At first I thought she had been invited for coffee, but it was worse than that. At 7 that morning, she, her husband, and son rang the doorbell and asked, “Weren’t you expecting us? Didn’t you get our letter?” They had written asking for breakfast after landing from an 8-hour flight from Ghana en route to Wimbledon. Penny, only 3 weeks this side of the due date for her baby, had to rustle up breakfast for 7 with no advance warning. I told her to sit down and put her feet up after the woman left, but she and her 6-year-old proceeded to make shortbread. Penny plays the clarinet and hunted up some duets for clarinet and piano. That was fun to sightread with her.

Monday our girls went to play with the girls from NJ – Nancy and Lynda M. The next day Kate, $, and I walked to the next town, Tadworth, via footpaths and met the M. family on the street there. We chatted for a few minutes, walked back to Walton, and met them walking down the street there! That afternoon the older girls were here, the younger ones floated between this house and Lynda’s, but had tea here. Wednesday all four had lunch and tea here, playing together 6.5 hours. They played well until the very end when the younger ones locked out the older ones. It was just as well they were busy getting ready to go to Holland to see the tulips in bloom; think they’d had enough of each other for a while.

Thursday we had all to ourselves. We drove to the supermarket in Banstead, the one the ladies usually go to from here. What a race track! I couldn’t stand to shop there all the time. Think I’d put it off until we were starving! We went early, found a parking place easily, but found the store full of rushing people. When we left, it took me ten minutes to maneuver out of the car park where 10 cars were lined up waiting for the next available space. Give me dear old Co-op any day!

EUREKA! We found crystal jelly!!!! Lisa was almost embarrassed at the way I carried on, but she was excited, also. We came right home and made it up. Have you guessed I’m talking of Jell-o? This is Royal brand, and it’s the first time we’ve found gelatin that is powdery – all the others are semi-solid, rubbery globs to be dissolved. This tasted better than their jelly, but not as good as real Jell-o. I’m going to make Jell-o once a week when we move back to the States!

We drove to a scenic place close to here, Box Hill, and took a short walk. It was very hazy; we must go back when we find a day that is crystal clear.

Kate, $, and I walked to Walton to do some shopping. We found a towel holder I’ve been looking for, flower seeds, a good pastry blender, and a salt pig! I asked for a cobweb brush and was told I was looking for a cornice broom. Live and learn.

Friday we shopped at Co-op, the freezer center, Boots, and a carpet store before picking Caroline up. She is the girl Lisa’s age who lived across from us in Reigate. She was here from noon Friday until afternoon Sunday. What a pleasant time we all had! Much of the time I hardly knew there was an extra girl here because all three would disappear together. Friday afternoon we again went to Box Hill for a longer ramble. The girls went down what felt like a mountain to the River Mole which has stepping stones across it. Several were out of place, they were afraid Kate would fall in, so they didn’t go all the way across. We must go there on a hot day to fall in – it’s only two feet deep and is considered a river!!! $ and I stayed toward the top of the hill for our walk.

Saturday John and Kate shopped in Epsom, a lovely town not far away with a fair-sized shopping area. He found lots of nice shops, and Lisa and Caroline were left here to enjoy themselves. Later the three from this house played outside with the three from next door. We had an impromptu tea party – six girls outside having “fizzy” drinks (soda) and biscuits (cookies) while the adults had tea inside. Jennifer and Vivien exclaimed over our new map of England. They said the counties are drawn differently on older maps and have longer names. Ours had Cambridge, Gloucester, Warwick, etc. where older maps show them with “shire” on the end.

They also told us more about this house. It was built in 1910. During the first world war, the Prime Minister, Lloyd George, lived in a house on the next street. Many of the big houses around, including this one, were rented by the cabinet members. There were private telephone lines linking them! Our neighbors haven’t found who rented this one.

After we finished tea, we asked if they would like to see the rest of the house. They jumped at the chance. They said English people don’t show their houses unless very good friends move to a new place. They were eager to see the lay-out here. We have servants’ bells, but they have the box in their kitchen. The bells still have their labels, though they no longer work. There was a day nursery and a night nursery! The girls are disappointed that they can’t use them to signal from our house to theirs!

This morning Caroline, Lisa, and I went to the earliest service at St. Mary’s. I wanted to get back to cook, and the girls to see the space shuttle take off. We’d watched the non-take-off Friday. John and Kate went to St. Peter’s where they were having communion. Kate was thrilled to see that everyone in the church went forward; she was so pleased to get a blessing when she went with John. They were also given crosses made from palms, though not nearly so elaborate as the ones Louise Koepchen makes in Setauket. I missed singing the Palm Sunday hymns.

Yesterday we invited our former neighbors to have Sunday lunch with us, since they had planned to pick Caroline up. They agreed and offered to bring the sweet. We knew we had to rush because their older daughter is singing Messiah in the same production we were involved with, but she has been going on Sundays. Everything was ready; we were just sitting down, and then we had to get up to watch the space shuttle take off. When someone mentioned THE WEDDING, Gillian said they were charged a pound extra for Caroline’s camp fee because the leaders decided to rent TV’s to put in the fields so they won’t miss the big event! When it was time for them to leave, Lisa pulled such a face that Gillian invited her to go home with them until after tea. That extended their visit by another four hours. All in all, we’ve had a very pleasant week of holiday.

Good Friday, Behind the Scenes

I’m not normally in the choir at church for two reasons. I’ve lost half my range, and I’m a zombie when they have rehearsals in the evening. On Good Friday, John thought there were not going to be enough sopranos, so he asked if I’d be willing to sing with the choir. He knew I’d directed all the music at our last church and was familiar with it. I found it exciting to witness the action. Downstairs, all was serene and worshipful, but in the loft there was constant movement.

The organist put on shoes before going to the front of the church to accompany a cellist playing the prelude. John says she plays the pedals of the organ wearing socks and not shoes. My toes cringed at the thought. The organist’s daughter directed the choir. She normally directs music at the praise and worship service, but the music director is quarantined with his COVID-infected wife. What a time to be forced to stay home from your job! Heather was a marvelous substitute. While directing, she switched to singing alto, because there was only one other there. Grandson David does not show at the other end of the tenor section, and John was out of the picture. Perhaps you can see two people sitting before monitors as they were live-streaming the service. Another was downstairs with her phone, getting shots of the cellist and organist.

I turned to the front of the church where the young tech was videoing the people playing the prelude. The young man who does the audio had stepped away, but you can see his sound board all lit up. He plays the marimba next to the sound board. I don’t often hear that soft sound, but he usually plays when the congregation sings hymns. I was very impressed with the talents of all these people.

Despite the quiet hubbub upstairs, the service was very meaningful. As usual, we left the church in silence after the Bible was slammed shut. Requiescat in pace, dear Lord.

Cat

We didn’t see Cat very often this winter, but she has begun coming out to walk with us again. This is the lovely animal whose owner said, “She belongs to my daughter, who named her Blake. I just call her CAT. My wife and daughter persuaded me to let the dog in the house, but this cat is never coming further than the garage.”

I tried to get a good picture of her this morning, but most of the ones I took were blurred because she was moving. She came running up her driveway and straight to me to be petted. After a good rub, I started walking, and she ran ahead. When she stopped, she looked around to make sure I would rub her again. This went on, in our usual fashion, until we were out of sight of her home. She got sidetracked by some interesting sight and rejoined me when I came back from the stop sign.

Cat has a bad habit of running in front of cars. Most of the people who live here know to watch out for her, and they creep past her. I don’t usually pick her up, because she hates it. This morning I had my hand on her, so I picked her up. It was awkward to hold her as she struggled, but I managed to wave at the driver. On the way home, I grabbed her again and waved. I know about six of the neighbors’ cars, and I didn’t recognize this one. It pulled slowly forward and paused as the window came down. A voice inside said, “You cheated.”

I laughed when I found myself looking at my son. He had heard stories of Cat, but this was the first time he saw me with her. Wouldn’t you know he’d catch me trying to protect her??

The Caesars

John opened the box from Amazon while I cleared the table after lunch. I wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing, and he suddenly said with conviction, “Lars is an excellent writer!”

We have been thrilled by his books before, so he was just underscoring something we already knew. John loves history, too, so he can compare Lars’ fresh words with the thousands of history books he has read through the years.

“Listen to this,” John said. “Unfortunately, in the bloodsport of Roman politics, money, ambition, and talent were necessary ingredients, and the elder Caesar lacked all three.”

This is one sentence from page two of The Caesars Vol. 1 by Lars Brownworth, published in 2021. When son John $pencer came in, John read aloud another sentence or so. $ put his name next on the invisible sign-up sheet to read the book. If anyone can bring dusty ancient history to life, it is Lars. I do not normally choose to read history, but my name is third on the list.

England 40 Years Ago — March 22, 1981

Just a quickie to let you know we did get moved. We had a beautiful sunny day — most unusual for this time of year. The weather and the men couldn’t have been nicer.

This past week I brought Mr. Clewes over here to see the garden. He noticed that the people behind us have a garden where not a blade of grass is out of place. Wouldn’t you know that’s where the owners of this house live?

Twice during an otherwise sunny day this past week, there was a mixture of snow and rain. After one episode I said to a sulky Kate, “Look! The sun is out again.” She grumbled, “No! I don’t want to look on the bright side.”

Kate was not sulky when she read a book to John $ in the old house. Kitchen shelf — two-thirds toys, one-third cookbooks.

Earlier in the week I came over several times to bring things to this house and do some unpacking of things already here. You should have seen me measuring a possible space for a dishwasher with John $’s help. He thinks the bendable metal is the greatest.

John $ at the old house. The bottle was empty. He still used a sippy cup to drink.

Both John and I went to school for the conference night for the older grades. All Lisa’s teachers say she is working at form level or above, but from the various things they said we don’t think she is exerting herself one little bit. She admitted the next day that she isn’t working more than she has to because she doesn’t want to. Grrrrr!

John and I have picked up a phrase that we’ve taken a fancy to. Here, instead of straightening things out or getting things settled, you sort them out. If you are muddled about something, you “sort yourself out” to remedy the problem.

The men came to pack for us on Thursday. I thought they’d do the china and crystal and thought nothing more about it. There were two who came, and they expected to put in several hours. I had to run around the house to separate rooms with them to point out what pictures and furnishings were to go and what was to stay. While they did other rooms, I organized the kitchen things by getting all the pots and utensils we’d need for the next two meals in one spot. I gave them sandwiches for lunch; they worked a little more, and then left.

Friday the same two men loaded everything into the van and pulled from the attic all the things of the owners that we’d stored. They pulled out about 12:30. We checked the house, stopped for sandwiches at the bakery, and came to this house. We waited and waited for the van and wondered what had happened to them. Finally they came with two more men they’d gone to pick up and they made short work of the unloading. We put $ in his stroller to watch the unloading and directed where everything was to go. They also unpacked! I was available when the china was done and was able to tell them where to put it. All the rest of the kitchen equipment was stuffed in drawers and cupboards. They did it in a logical manner, but not exactly where I wanted things. After they left at 5, I pulled everything out and re-stowed it. At the same time, John was re-doing all the books in the living room. We made a start on our bedroom and John’s room.

Gillian (neighbor across the street) had so kindly invited the girls to spend the night at her house and even insisted on picking them up from school!!! That left our minds completely free to concentrate on moving. I don’t know what state I’d be in now if I’d had to answer a thousand questions along with everything else. Gillian said she met some friends at Micklefield. Her daughter Caroline went there until just two years ago. We planned to get the girls Saturday morning, but Gillian insisted we come dressed in our work clothes at lunch time and have a meal with them! Nothing could have been kinder! We ate in the kitchen and had a lovely meal of beef and mushroom stew, leeks from their garden, mashed potatoes, green beans, and for dessert a choice of jelly (jello), applesauce, or fruit salad followed by coffee. It was so good to know we’d had a nourishing meal and I wouldn’t have to do more than get out sandwich materials for a later meal. Bless her!

I saw something in Gillian’s kitchen and couldn’t resist asking her about it. It was a funny ceramic thing, rather tall, but with the opening curved, rather like a curved pipe. She said it is a salt pig. It’s the only thing in which she can keep salt so that it doesn’t cake up. They are supposed to be readily available, so I’ll be looking for one. I never saw anything quite like it. [We still use the one we bought. This photo was taken in 2021.]

Shortly before the moving men left, Jennifer [neighbor who with her husband owns the other half of our rented house] came over to invite us over for a cup of tea. John said I needed a rest more than he did, so he kept $. I had a delightful time chatting with them. $ had fun climbing up and down the levels of steps in the moving van. The men left, $ went to bed, and we began to “sort things out.”

Today the girls and I walked to St. Peter’s for the 11 o’clock service advertised on their board in the front of the church. We wondered what was going on when we saw so many cars quietly parked and only four or five people waiting to go into the building. The board, we were told, was about 15 years old. The newer one had been taken down to be repainted with the new rector’s name. The hymn we were hearing was the end of the service we thought we were headed for. For years the main service has been at 10. Now we know. The man who gave us the information advised us to buy a parish magazine inside. Then he slipped in, handed us one, and refused to let us pay for it!

After dinner John went to Redhill for Bach’s St. Matthew Passion. He said it was glorious. The congregation got to sing all the chorales. There was even a tea break in the middle, and the people brought out their thermoses. He felt satisfied that he had truly worshiped.

This afternoon we cleaned up the old carriage we’ve lugged around with us and outfitted it with the stroller seat. We walked through the little village to the duck pond and down one footpath. This is going to be another facet of English life. A brisk walk of two minutes brings us within sight, sound, and smell of cows! We hear no traffic tucked back off the high street, and I doubt there is much, anyway. This may be the type of place where everyone knows everyone else. The shopping will be easy – small grocery, fruiterer, butcher, post office, two gift shops, hardware, dispensing chemist, blacksmith, luncheonette, two pubs and three or four antique shops are just around the corner. Don’t think I’ll buy anything at the blacksmith’s. This is so different from the traffic choked streets of Redhill and Reigate.

Our girls have still not met the girls we share the house with. I found out their names – Georgina, 15; Katherine, 12; and Philipa, 9. Don’t feel we can invite them in here until the entrance is free of its mountain of boxes.

The green door is ours. The red door is for the family with three girls. We have only half the house.

The house is old, don’t know how old, but the ceilings are quite high and the walls thick. We haven’t learned how things sound – I heard Kate calling me, and I had to search all over the house to find her. Turned out she was in the next room to begin with. We can’t hear $ crying if we are downstairs.

Back of the house. We have the sections on both sides of the back door.

The girls have a week and a half of school till the end of term. Then comes a month off. One week of that will be spent in Cornwall.

Nathaniel’s One Day Visit

Grandson Nathaniel came for two nights and one day to celebrate his birthday. One turns 21 only once in a lifetime, and it should be very special. I’m just going to imagine that we had a glittering party with friends and family in high spirits. The meal was an epicurean delight, ending with a luscious dessert without candles. Gifts were cute and amusing. Reality was going out for lunch and driving up to the Blue Ridge Parkway to find it socked in with heavy fog. We loved being with him, though.

David had Sunday off, giving him a chance to enjoy his brother. We walked along a paved trail with exercise equipment along the way. Some of the stations had instructions showing what could be done. David went for the high bar.

Nathaniel took a low bar.

They are very strong, and I doubt either of them ever spent much time in a gym. And to think, I have to exercise just to walk straight!

Dementia and How I Acquired It

About five years ago daughter Kate and grandson David saw a video about tying shoes a new way. They tried it, and so did I. After a few weeks, the process became automatic. I no longer supervised my fingers with my brain.

Fast forward to the present. I tied my left shoelace and paused. Since I learned a new skill late in life, what would happen if I forgot how to do it? I would watch my fingers and translate action into words that I could write down, just in case. I stared in disbelief as my trusty fingers fumbled. The action should have been fluid, twisting the lace around and pulling one bit through the other. Nothing worked. I blinked, looked away, and tried again. Think! No! Don’t think! Go on auto-pilot! It was no use. I could not tie my shoe!

I took giant clown-steps to my desk so I wouldn’t trip on the lace ends flopping about. I flirted with the idea of finding a video, but that seemed dangerous. Would I recognize the correct method if I saw it on the screen? I read some blog posts, knowing my brain would focus on the words and forget that I couldn’t tie my shoe. Evidently that worked. I’ve worn shoes every day since, with the laces tied. No one can tell by my appearance that I have had a serious senior moment.

Instead of worrying, I should have an emergency plan. Hopefully, one of the three people living here will be available if it happens again. If not, I pray that neighbor Logan (10) will have his own cell phone by then. I will text him and ask him if he can come outside to ~~play~~ quietly tie my shoes for me.

Mistake in the Shower

With dismay, I realized I had a dollop of conditioner in my hand instead of shampoo. There was no easy way to get it back in the bottle, and a penny-pincher would not willingly waste it. Even the stingiest miser would not want outside help at that point. Don’t even try to imagine the scene. I know what I did, but not how I did it. I opened the shampoo, put some in the other hand, and proceeded to wash the hair with one hand without losing the conditioner in the other. Using two hands, the rest was easy – rinse, apply, and rinse again. It’s comforting to know that my brain could solve an unexpected problem while preparing for the day.

COVID, Back Then and Soon

On the way to Charlotte, taking grandson Nathaniel back to school, we went to a church we’ve been to twice before. It is one we particularly like. It’s a beautiful gray stone church on a winding mountain road, and a rushing stream borders the property. Inside is even more attractive, because the people are very friendly and worshipful. They use the old standard liturgy and sing the chorales that guide your thoughts in deep channels. Like icing on a cake, the pastor chants the service easily and precisely.

John couldn’t tell from the web site if this church was even having a service on Sunday morning. No one responded to email or a phone call. What a surprise to pull into the parking lot and find it full! An unmasked man walked to the entrance and went in. We followed and found the church as full of people as it had been in past years. There were paper bulletins and hymn books in the pews, something we hadn’t seen for a year. Even more shocking, one man shook our hands to welcome us! We might have thought we were in a time warp, except there were a few older couples wearing masks.

We found out the aunt of the pastor’s wife died the day before, and they would be leaving to go to the funeral and on to Colorado where their grandchild was born a month early. No wonder no one responded to email and web messages!

What we saw at the church was almost pre-COVID behavior, where things looked much like they did a year ago. I wondered if that is what our church in Asheville will be like some months from now.

I know the governor of NC issued more relaxed COVID guidelines the previous Friday, but I hadn’t read them. After church we went to a tavern Nathaniel chose from his phone as we drove along. It was in a small town near Charlotte. Masks were the only thing that screamed COVID. People sat at the bar, and tables were not as far apart as they probably were before. We used plastic menus instead of paper ones. I didn’t feel like I was being followed by an army of workers wielding disinfectants while silently cursing me for breathing. This may be a preview of how restaurants will be in the months to come.

How lovely it will be when the freedoms of the past and those of the present feel similar!

Nathaniel’s Quick Visit

Grandson Nathaniel had Saturday off, and we made the most of it. He finished work the night before at 9 pm, and that’s when John picked him up in Charlotte. They were back at our house by midnight, and everyone went to bed. Over breakfast Saturday, Nate had us laughing.

Rose brought her artist sister to a cabin in the mountains to paint for the weekend. Rose and John $pencer went hiking two days to give her plenty of time to paint. I asked for a quick photo to show that her visit overlapped Nathaniel’s for a few minutes.

Later in the day I asked Nate to pose with his degree earned nine months ago. It says “Associate in Applied Science Cum Laude”. Are we proud? You bet!! He is over half way through his junior year now.

We had tea well past the proper hour. I got out our 40-year-old teapot from England and warmed it. Nathaniel weighed the loose tea and set a timer for the steeping. He is more precise than I would have been, and it was worth it. He chose a cup and saucer that had belonged to my grandmother, and I took one that commemorated our 25^th wedding anniversary. Clunky mugs were not suitable for our tea.

Nathaniel skipped the mirror ritual this time. The official photographer had gone to bed when he arrived, and the family scattered quickly the next day. The day he left, I asked him to pose, showing the mirror had not moved. He bent his knees, petted Sadie, and stuck out his tongue.

We went to church on the way to Charlotte, but that’s another story. To show the brothers together, I asked the boys for a fast picture as Nathaniel was heading for his dorm. It was a quick visit, but very satisfying.